The 'Burgh

Hey kids!

I'm supposed to be getting some work done at my neighborhood Starbucks (sniff sniff, I kind of miss Seattle! ...but not too much.), but I'd rather let y'all know how I'm liking my new home turf.

In typical KB fashion, I've compiled a list below with my likes/dislikes thus far of Pittsburgh:

Yays

1. The People! Everyone has been friendly, folksy, neighborhoody, and helpful. Well, most everybody. I haven't had to lift one heavy bag, pay for one drink, sit alone at any restaurant/bar/cafe, etc., or wander aimlessly in a store clearly in need of help since I've arrived. This is in stark contrast to Seattle, where people would walk over your limp, dying body (with hand grasping for help) on the sidewalk, instead of dare see if they could be of assistance. God forbid they intrude on your personal space.

In addition to the friendliness, Pittsburgh natives are hard core proud of their town. Can you blame them? The city has been named "Most Livable City" 4 years in a row by the Economist and they are the home of world champion Football and Hockey teams. I'm already a die hard fan and I've only been to one Steelers game! That reminds me, I've gotta get my black and gold wardrobe game on.

2. My neighborhood. It's the most diverse joint ever: every race you can think of - with the slight majority being Jewish! And plenty of asian/vegetarian restaurants with tofu. I'm home! ;)

3. My gym. State of the art equipment, facilities...and the BEST thing about having the gym at the Jewish Community Center is everyone knows how to spell my last name!! Mazel Tov! And I can't stop giggling when the "chosen" members (they do allow gentiles in the joint fyi) whip their heads around and stare when I say my full name aloud.

4. Cost of living. Son, when the owner of my building told me the rent for my ginormous apartment I had to ask him to repeat it, twice. I was sure I heard him wrong or it was a biweekly payment.

Nays

1. The humidity. Chile, KB hasn't been in this kind of heat since Philly in the summer of 07. Yet I've still tried to rock the hair stick straight a couple times. Stuck to my face but I worked it out.

2. My gym. Yes the facilities are great and everything is brand new but the exercise classes are SNOOZE. I suppose I'm just used to exercise instructors that are fierce, fun, and have the best music. I've mentioned this before - my exercise instructor should have a BETTER body than me! I mean how do you expect me to follow you when your belly is flapping and you're sweating way more than me 15 minutes into the class? Defined muscle tone should be a job requirement in my opinion.

3. BNT. I thought NYC/NJ was the BNT capital of the U.S.? They don't got nathan on Pittsburgh honey. There are bridges and tunnels every step you take. I take a bridge and a tunnel to work everyday. It's fine because I go against traffic, but when I'm not it's a hot, red-light filled mess. I actually heard last night that Pittsburgh has the most bridges in any U.S. city. 2nd in the world to Venice? Or maybe that was just the tipsy frat guy tryna impress me with his knowledge of Pitt trivia.

4. I'm squad-less. Y'all know KB considers her friends as family, so it was quite daunting to move to a place where I'd be completely solo (sans for Kingston). But, in usual KB style I've garnered quite a few squad members already, and I have a feeling a solid 'Burgh squad is gonna be up and running by fall. I mean, I needs to start baking and hosting cocktail parties, stat, lest I get all in a tizzy and start reading for pleasure or doing something more productive with my free time.

Anyone else make a move recently? (You know who I'm talking to!) =)

Can't wait for y'all to visit!

KelleBelle

Road Trip!

Picture it: KelleBelle and Kingston embark on a 2500+ mile road trip across the country. I hate road trips. But I can tolerate one-way trips if it's to relocate.

First of all, let's go over how the trip started. I left Seattle at 5:30am on Thursday, July 30th and of course planned on getting to bed by 10pm Wednesday night in order to be fully rested for the long drive. I was done packing, finished winding up my affairs, and said my goodbyes to everyone...except my BFF (in Seattle) Choklate*.

We still hadn't said our farewells, nor did we exchange parting gifts we had for one another. So she comes over around 9pm, swapped gifts (I LOVE having friends that wear my shoe size!! She gave me two super sweet pairs she never wore. And I gave her two fierce pairs of mine that she could do way more justice than I ever could), popped open a final bottle of wine and chat.

Then we decided to hit up our favorite lounge around the way, which has a fly wednesday night live jam session. Did I mention it was now 1am? So off we go. We had the nerve to saunter in the joint at 1:30am...when the place closes at 2. We commence drinking, dancing, chatting with our homies...and walk out of the joint at 3am. At this point sleep wasn't happening. So we go to this dope 24 hour restaurant, have big salads and lots of water, chat with a few music industry folks Chok knew that happened to be there, and set out again. We walked back to my place...packed up my car, and Kingston and I hit the road at 5:30am!

At approximately 7:15am, about 75 miles from Spokane, WA, I realize I forgot to pack a very important section of my bedroom: my goodie drawer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I immediately called Chok, who was napping in my place, and told her to please clean it out, and feel free to keep any of the, ahem, stuff that was in there (everything was in wrappers and new - y'all know KB don't mess with toys and such). Thank goodness she was there - can you imagine the real estate agent and owner finding the contents of the drawer?! I'd die.

So Kingston and I drive through Washington, Idaho, and arrive in Billings, Montana around 8:30pm. Chile, Billings is hood. I took Kingston with me every time I needed to go down to the car to retrieve something. I swear the population was full of meth heads and crack feigns. Just weird looking folks strolling down the streets. Yikes.

Up early Friday morning, we head to Fargo, ND. I know what you're thinking: snooze city.

But no!! Why? Because one of my close friends from law school lives there! We had a friggin' ball honey. She of course was thrilled she actually had a visitor. I swore to her when she first moved there that I would never, ever visit her. But when my trip had me crossing through ND, of course I had to stop by. Friday night in Fargo was...an experience. We went to approximately19 bars, three restaurants, and I believe a piggly wiggly.

Here's a funny thing about Fargo: every place has about 14 different establishments within it. For instance, we went to this one complex that held 5 different clubs/bars, three restaurants (including one Hooters), a liquor store, some sort of dry cleaning/laundry place, a small casino/gambling area, and I swear I saw some sort of chapel in the back.

No bar is just a bar. Walk around the corner and make a left, you're in a free clinic. Hang a right? You're in the middle of a gas station.

We had such a ball (and I really didn't feel like driving all day again) that I stayed in Fargo all day Saturday and we worked out, reminisced about law school at Ruby Tuesdays for about 4 hours, then painted our nails and watched Real Housewives of Atlanta at her fabulous apartment. Pretty much the best visit ever.

Kingston and I hit the road at 9am Sunday morning and made our way to Chicago. We slid in around 8pm and had the best time with big bro and his crew. After a quick change, we bar hopped in his 'hood. One bar was playing my favorite movie in the world, "The Toy", so I was there for about an hour and a half watching and drinking. Then we hit this other bar that gave free personal pizzas with every drink! Awesome.

We got back to my bro's place around 1am and hit the sack. Kingston and I packed up our stuff once more, and hit the road at 8am. I realized what the key is to a successful visit with the bro-ham: Make it 12 hours! There's no time to fight or bicker at all. Short and sweet. :)

Finally, Kingston and I make our way Monday morning to our final destination: Pittsburgh!

We rolled into the 'Burgh around 5pm and I drove straight to the mall to go to the AT&T store and get my new iPhone. My og phone died somewhere between Wisconsin and Illinois. :(

I wanted to upgrade anyway, so it was all good. Then we checked into our hotel and slept for about 12 hours!

Everything has gone so well since I arrived here I can't help but feel like George Costanza. Something bad must be on the horizon. Everything's going so smoothly!! The 5 days at the hotel went swell, I found an amazing apartment in the greatest neighborhood ever, got the hookup on all of my furniture, have met the nicest, welcoming people, and my job is friggin' awesome.

I'm actually going to go to church on Sunday to give thanks. Shoot, I may hit up the synagogue on Saturday too, just to cover my bases. ;)

Love love love all y'all! Regularly scheduled blogging will commence shortly.

Xoxo,

KB

*check out her new album, "To Whom It May Concern" - It's amazing!!

Random Thoughts

1. Lessons learned from the Steve McNair Tragedy.

Be careful who your side piece is. It's looking like the murder of the beloved football player was at the hands of his 20-year-old jump off. McNair was married with 4 kids but seemingly had a separate life with his chick, whom he met while she was a waitress at a Dave and Busters that he frequented with his family. I highly doubt this tragedy will cause other professional athletes (and regular joes) to second guess a booty offering from a young crazy broad, but I hope so.

2. The Michael Jackson coverage.

I'm sorry but has everyone (I'm talking to you CNN!) lost their damn minds? MJ was an incredible figure in our society and affected many people by his music and generous contributions to charities...but yo, the coverage of his death and memorial service is off the wall (yup, pun intended!). You would think this dude cured cancer, freed slaves, something! I was not around when JFK was shot, but I can only see this kind of media coverage when a figure such as John John dies in such a tragic and public fashion. Not the sudden death of a pop star (yes he was King of pop but you know that doesn't make him technically royalty fyi) who was visibly unhealthy and had a lengthy history of medical problems...I'm just saying, let the man rest, and let's focus on other issues in addition to the tragic loss of MJ. Has anyone heard an update on the two reporters imprisoned in North Korea lately? Any news on Afghanistan? Hello? Uncle Leo?

3. Oprah's fat. Again.

I called my mom yesterday to tell her to watch the Oprah show. It was about her weight challenges. I watched the first 5 minutes and really liked what I was hearing. Oprah was being "real" and I appreciated it. She said that you'd think with all the money, fame, success, she'd be happy...but if you still cannot control your weight and can't fit into your clothes, you can never be fully at peace or happy. I completely understand.

I talked to mom dukes today and we spoke about the show. Moms had me dying! She said she liked the show but she disagreed with one thing O said. It was about the pressure that she feels each month when she has to go the "O" Magazine cover shoot and try on clothes. My mom said, "well, if she didn't put herself on the cover each month, that would relieve a lot of pressure." True dat! Moms was like, "it was fine the first few months the magazine came out, but after that it got annoying. I mean, who else only has a picture of themselves on their magazine each month?" I gotta agree. Sure she's shared the cover with her dogs and Michelle O once. But she really doesn't need to be on the cover each month. I wonder if she'll be sandwiched in betwixt Venus and Serena for next month's cover in light of their Wimbledon battle?

Alright y'all...until the next time.

Smooches!

KB

The Illest Nana of them All

Some time must be spent on the absolute tomfoolery and fuckery of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford.

Hey, I'm a romantic and am all about finding one's soul mate. But get your shit in order first. Don't let the goodies make you lose your mind now. Apparently Governor Sanford did not get the memo.

A few thoughts:

• Telling a few folks that you "went for a walk" and then having some fool make up some "happened upon the Appalachian trail" nonsense is not going to cover a ghost's tracks.

• Son, can I get an out-of-office reply? Something!

• And damn, I don't celebrate Father's day, but if I was a pop of four children...I'd at least give them a call or let them know my number at the jump-off's crib in Argentina. That's ice cold.

• Why do you continue to discuss your illicit affair?? Sanford got the ultimate chance to just quickly push his drama under the rug and quietly resign. But what does he do? This mutha waits until a few days have passed since MJ's death and holds yet another press conference, to announce more affairs!

Either his side piece has the illest of them all, or dude really didn't want to be Governor anymore. Hey, do you, but try to be a lil' more on it next time!

Smooches,

KelleBelle

The King is Dead

For complete, insightful, witty coverage on Michael Jackson's untimely passing, please visit http://www.whatwouldthembido.com/

I'm now going to focus on some of the taboo subjects surrounding his death, that no one (at least in the media) wants to discuss.

1. Those kids.

Look, I'm a product of the heavenly black and white combination. Those kids are not. They could possibly pass for his kids if he truly looked like he does now, genetically. I know they are doing great shizz with science these days, but I do not think we are at the point where you can genetically mutate a fetus to only take on the (white) mother's genes. There is no way in hells bells those kids have a black father, complete with nappy hair and a wide nose. No way!

2. Diana Ross as fill-in guardian.

I love me some Diana, but is she really the best substitute to take care of his kids in the event that his elder mother cannot fill the role? I believe she has been chillin' with her fabo european husband in paris or rome or somewhere kick-ass, and I have a feeling she is through raising chil'ren. Didn't Evan Ross like flee the coup at age 10? Or mayhaps I made that up.

3. Cause of death.

Similar to Heath Ledger's untimely death, no one wants to talk about what really went down. I'm not saying we should bring up the true cause, especially if it will only serve to shed negative light on his otherwise amazing impact and legacy he will leave, but it could possibly be a very valuable lesson for the masses. As in, do not mix sleeping pills with certain other drugs, etc.

4. Pandora's "Michael Jackson" station

This isn't a taboo subject, but I must make a comment regarding my disappointment with Pandora. Immediately after MJ's death, I created a Michael Jackson station. As you know, to create a station on Pandora you enter the name of an artist, song, or album and Pandora creates a "station" based on the selection and plays music that is similar/related to what you typed in. For example, say you have, oh I don't know, an "NWA" station. Expect to hear some Dre, Cube, etc., in addition to songs from those ninjas with attitude. So, I create the MJ station. The first few songs were by Michael, Earth Wind & Fire, and Stevie Wonder. No surprise there. But Justin Timberlake? Pardon?? They played JT 3 times over a 9 song span! If you're going to throw in biters, might as well add every other pop jerk that stole MJ's moves and sound. Tsk tsk Pandora. You'll be on the business end of a strongly worded email from yours truly very shortly.

5. The BET awards.

Really?

Okay my Pretty Young Thangs...I'm off (the wall)!

Smooches,

KB

Size Queen

No, no, not that size. And yes, KB (and I believe Jake as well) is definitely a size queen in that regard.

But I'm referring to the super-size nature of American culture. I was having a great girl-chat session with my buddy Andrew (see his amazingly personal and interesting blog/diary at andrewwnichols.blogspot.com) last week and he asked me what I thought caused the mortgage/financial crisis. I said simply, greed. Not just by the bankers, investors, and all of dem. I'm referring to American's "need" for the grandiose: the Hummer, the huge house that you don't need, the fancy car you can't afford, the purses, the "poppin' bottles", all of that excess.

Andrew, a new homeowner, mentioned that he was approved for a loan in the range of $300,000 and was encouraged by his real estate agent to look for a bigger piece of property than what he eventually settled on. He declined, and instead bought a small place that fit his lifestyle perfectly - and was "only" $135,000 - less than half of what he could have bought. I immediately chided the real estate agent for the prodding of Andrew - of course she/he would encourage him to buy a bigger house. The higher the purchase price, the higher their commission.

I think more people should be like Andrew and not take out the maximum line of credit - for a credit card, mortgage, student loan, etc. Live within your means - actually, live below your means. I have to say this was a hard lesson for me to learn - after all, I was raised in LA where people would drive their fancy Mercedes Benz's and Lexi all over town...and park it in the garage (or on the street) of a down trodden one-bedroom apartment in the hood. It was all about image and keeping up with those fuckers the Jones'. My mama waited until she was retired and stacked her chips before she finally got her Benz. Growing up we never had a fancy car or wore designer labels (Slauson swapmeet holler!) but we lived in a nice house in a safe neighborhood.

I had a friend at USC who spent $4000 on a Dior purse and lived in her grandma's converted garage in Compton. Huh? Meanwhile, ya girl KB rocked her Nine West clutch and Steve Maddens...and lived in a spacious apartment near campus. Years later in Philly, I tried to dissuade a friend from buying a 4-story house. Why did a single woman who travelled frequently need such a grand home? I suppose she wanted it because she could have it. So she did. I believe it has been on the market now for over a year...

Even folks are super-sizing their families! Who on earth needs (or can support) 18 kids? Or 8? Someone please stop the madness.

I'm not saying I'm the black Suzie Orman, but I think my priorities in terms of spending are somewhat intact.

Off to H&M for some discount shopping and then I'm catching a matinee (bringing my own snacks of course - healthier and incredibly cheaper than the $13 medium sized popcorn).

Xoxo,

KB

Lessons Learned from Miche--- wait, Barack!

I was trying my absolute best to not write about an "article" that has been flying around the black-post-secondary-education world, but alas, I must give in and address some of the melee the piece has produced.

When one of my main b's forwarded the piece I couldn't help but take a heavy sigh and roll my eyes. The piece is about lessons single black women can learn from Michelle Obama. I know, snooze! In my opinion the piece didn't address any new ideas or challenges single black women face in the cold hard world of dating, but I appreciated the author's point of view and I'm definitely glad she wrote it, as it sparked lots of discussion. But I couldn't help but wonder: are these lessons we should learn from Michelle? Or lessons men need to learn from Barack? I'm thinking the latter.

The piece, authored by a lovely young lady who I believe was a year or two behind me in law school, basically covered the way black women need to stop being so picky, and give the "cornball" type of guy a chance. Like Michelle did with Barack (he wasn't as fly as he is now when they first met). Um, okay, but as I've mentioned to my girls in the past, I DO give the nerds a chance, as do a lot of my friends. My lesson learned? Fat geeks can be jerks just as quickly as the hottie with a six pack and swagger can be.

The author mentioned that many of her friends will cut a guy off after the first date for trivial things like not dressing stylish enough (or too stylish), having small hands, "laughing too much", all sorts of fuckery. I don't know many women who would cut off a seemingly solid dude for such small imperfections. But I will drop you like a hot comb on the high setting if you are rude, a violent drunk, don't take care of yourself (if he's not taking care of himself (mentally and physically), how can I expect him to care of me?), or have dead teeth with no intention of mitigating the losses, I'm done. Call me picky.

The article sparked rounds and rounds of emails going back and forth regarding the travails of dating. But again, nothing really new was introduced in the lengthy email threads.

We touched on the familiar subjects of persistence vs. equal attraction (for the record, KB is not one to "grow" to like someone or find them attractive - I know within the first 10 seconds of meeting a gent if I want to see them in their birthday suit); whether we are holding out for our "equals" on paper (no - I don't care if you don't have a PHD from Stanford, but you better GI Joe it and be the best you can be at whatever you are doing - music, art, pressure cleaning, trash man, etc.); and what I consider the ultimate sign if a gent is in the Mr. KelleBelle running: genuine interest.

The last topic really struck a nerve because I have found myself completely bamboozled by dudes who I would consider dating seriously, but for whatever reason, they are not conveying their desire to do the same, but at the same time send mixed messages that they do want to date me exclusively. Perhaps it's just my location - I have mentioned time and time again the passive culture of the pacific northwest - but I seem to keep running into this phenomenon. I mean, even if I am just into a guy for casual dating, what makes or break moving him into the "serious consideration" category or put into the "friend" and/or "jump-off" box is his level of genuine interest (and mine, of course).

And that's what I think fellas need to learn from Barack. He was persistent in his courting of 'Chelle and was proactive in his quest to land his woman. If a gent isn't calling me, arranging dates (I will too, but it should be equal) - and NOT the day of said date - then clearly he isn't that into me. Maybe the timing isn't right, maybe he does really like me but he just sucks at conveying his interest, not sure. But take a page out of B's courting book and step ya game up.

And I am SO incredibly tired of dudes saying they are just so busy and tired and blah blah. B please. I've dated an ER doctor, a pro athlete, musician, politician, lawyer, hustler, sneaker designer, military man, professor (not while a student! get ya mind out the gutter), etc. If you really want to see me, you'll make time. And that's the end of it. If you call me only at your latest convenience, then that shows me your level of interest and I will proceed accordingly.

Thanks for letting me vent, y'all. Have a great weekend!

KelleBelle

Are you a FWD whore?

Do you have a friend/relative/associate that sends you countless FWD: FW: FW: messages that flood your inbox on the daily? Lord knows I do. The two main culprits are usually my mother and my god mother. I mean really, how many times do I need to see the lil boy pat Obama on the head in the Oval office? I get it. It's cute. Historic. Stop forwarding it please! Thanks.

Anywhether, a friend of mine sent our squad a message yesterday bringing our attneiton to her own FWD nightmare:

"Ok. I'm NOT fowarding this to you as a forward. I'm sending this because my dear friend, Daniella, sends me fwds REPEATEDLY. I get an avg of 5 a day from her...and that's an average. it's not the mere act of fwding that bothers me its that she sends them indiscriminately. no thought is put into whether i would be interested in seeing this or whether its likely that i saw it already. i will send fwds every now and then but i try to keep in mind that most people prolly don't want to be baraged by them.

I had another friend who would do this and i just ended up sending her emails automatically to my spam folder. I don't want to say anything to her because it may seem a bit stuck up, esp. b/c this is one of my pre-law school friends but DAMN! i hate getting these. and every now and then she'll send me an email directed to me and sometimes I don't see them because they are in my spam folder.

anyway, are you ladies similarly perturbed by these or should i just get over it?"

KB's note: for the record, this forward in particular was WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE. Nudity and a bit of racism all in one!

I responded to my friend's request for advice as follows:

Dude. This one of my biggest pet peeves. My god mother used to send me fwds non-stop, once 10 fwds in a two day period. I asked my mom how to politely ask my god mom to stop the forward madness. I, like you, didn't want to put her off, or send her to spam hell, because she does send actual emails with original content on occassion. Mom duke's solution? Lie!

I told my god mother my inbox was simply too full and I was getting warnings that my storage was about to exceed the limit. So please, no more forwards because they often contain large files attached/included with them.

Haven't received a forwarded "use this coupon today to get a free whopper at wendys!" or bible-esque cartoons (that are usually quite offensive/blasphemous in my heathen opinion) since!

K

Ps: this fwd is wildly inappropriate!!! And not that clever. Odd what folks forward. You think your girl even scans the email before forwarding?
_____________

My friends agreed that the little white lie will avoid the need for an awkward confrontation about the fwd insanity.

How would you deter a FWD whore? Are you a FWD whore yourself? Should I stop saying whore so much?

Smooches!

KB

Letters to a Young Sister

Hey kids! It's about that time when folks are graduating from high school, college, grad school, beauty school, ITT Tech (if you're smart - real talk these days...), etc. One of my dear friends is putting together a compilation of lessons learned since she left home for college, to give to her baby sister who graduated from high school last week and is off to college in the fall.

My friend asked for help with her list, and this is what I came up with:

1. Do not spend more than you make!

2. Don't use credit cards (except in serious emergencies).

3. Think of your next 5 steps and plan/prep accordingly (internship, summer job, grad school, career, etc).

4. Have fun but not too much. No party is worth jeopardizing your school work, reputation (showing up to your part-time law office job hungover is not cool), or your health.

5. Act like a lady and think like a man!

I think my ultimate word of advice is to reach out for help at the first sign of trouble - in any area, be it school, love, life, etc. Get your network of support together (family, friends, profs, mentors) sooner rather than later and USE them as a resource for advice, guidance, or just an ear.

What do you know now that you wish you knew when you left the nest? Do tell.

Smooches!

KelleBelle

Recession Friendly Things To Do This Summer

I was watching CNN this weekend and they listed the top selling items during a recession. I have kept the list exactly as they showed it on the screen:

• Chocolate, Comfort Foods


• Gold Coins, Gardening Seeds
  
• Running Shoes, Guns

Based on the above list, if you ever had an idea to open a chocolate factory, KFC chain, running gear or gun store, this summer may be the time to make good on that daydream.

And I know you've been staring at those gold coins your grandpapi gave you years ago, wondering if they'd ever do anything besides collect dust. Take a trip on down to your local "we buy gold" store or pawn shop and cash em in for some gardening seed money. Or combine some of the items and you'll definitely have a fun and profitable summer: chocolate pistol anyone? Yum!

Also, if you ever thought about going natural and weening yourself off of your stylist's teet, now is definitely the time. Save the $75 re-touch/press&curl bi-weekly salon appointment and let the new growth flow! Summer is the time to be free, and if you don't like the rate of growth by September, well, the economy should (hopefully) be on the upswing and you'll be in a better financial position to shell out the dough for your salon visits.


Smooches!

KB