Kurrent Events

I'm really getting tired of the disrespect President Obama has been receiving. It's one thing for gun-toting inbred hicks to throw some hate, but a congressman? Bush would never receive such rudeness. Perhaps because Dems will talk about you, but mostly behind your back via liberal media. Trash talking is going to happen but don't be tacky about it. "You lie"? That's not even a complete sentence. As Thembi put it, the correct phrasing is, "You A lie." Moron.

Drug abuse/addiction has been in the headlines lately. DJ AM's relapse and subsequent overdose and then the awful video of Maia Campbell making the rounds on the internets have made addiction a definite water cooler topic. I've always been a fan of A&E's "Intervention" and other drug related documentaries ("Cocaine Nation" on the Discovery channel is really good). I started to think about why some people are prone to addiction/abuse and some aren't. Then I thought of what was taught in school. Remember, "D.A.R.E."? I didn't learn much in those classes - except when the police officer brought in replicas of street drugs and we got to look at them. I doubt the program had a huge effect on me. But you know what did? Movies. I had a full year of nightmares after watching Chris Tucker overdose in "Dead Presidents." Tack on another two years of nightmares after watching Chris Rock get cracked out in New Jack City. That scared me the hell straight. That's what kids should be watching in health class. Bump "Breakfast Club." (I love the movie but I really didn't see the point of watching it as a 15 year old in health class and then being asked which character I identified with. My teacher was not amused with my response: "No one.")

In kidnapping news...I'm still in shock over the recovery of Jaycee Dugard. What a nightmare. She's jacked for life, as are the kids she had with her kidnapper. I'm most in shock that the kidnapper has plead not guilty. Dude, what the eff. It's a wrap.

With the recent news that those weirdos the Duggards are now on baby 19, I may have to co-sign a limit on the number of babies a woman can birth. I mean really. 19? And now that those nitwits the Gosselin's and the Octo-mom have made having a litter of children profitable, I really may co-sign a baby making limit. In fact, I think Jaycee Dugard's mother should be able to pick out a Duggard kid and get to raise one as a way to make up for the lost time due to Jaycee's kidnapping.

Speaking of stealing kids, I may steal from a kid. The swine flu vaccine is going to be made available free to new york city public school kids. I may have to pop into PS 11 and swipe a shot real quick. It's funny, I didn't really take the risk of the flu seriously until Rachel Maddow admitted on the Jimmy Fallon show that she had it. I figure if a smart, hygienic (she looks like she carries hand sanitizer in her murse), person like Rachel can get it, I can.

In TV news...Tyra, I'm so through with you. Wig, weave, "natural," jheri, just shut it and host top model. Thanks. Entourage has been predictable and boring. I still don't get the whole vampire thing - True Blood and those Twilight flicks...um, yeah, I don't really eff with vampires except around Halloween. But enjoy. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia finally premieres next week. It's about damn time.

In sporting news...I think because I'm now a resident of one of the most football obsessed cities in the country, I'm really into football this year. NFL, College, even fantasy. I even started to learn the player's names. Can't wait to watch the Steelers, Eagles (mmm Michael Vick), and of course my beloved Trojans.

Late add (9/14): The VMAs. First off, they still have that show? I thought it was cancelled. Or maybe I just have ignored it the past few years. I've never viewed a VMA telecast in one sitting. I'll catch a snippet here and there during the gazillion replays. I caught Kanye's tackiness, Beyonce's graciousness, and a chubb rock Janet Jackson paying tribute to her bro. Um, is it just me or were her moves not as crisp as usual? I think with her added weight her dance moves just aren't as tight as when she has the 6 pack. And is it just me or was it kind of shady to release a single after the show? Cashing in on her bro's dedication...how very Joe Jackson of her.

Ellen is going to be on Idol. I haven't watched the show since the large black man beat out the weird looking white fellow, so I really don't care.

Tyler Perry has caused much melee by allegedly being interested in Beyonce to star in his film adaptation of "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf". Bey, please don't make me turn on you. I am a huge fan but please, please don't ruin this important piece. Keep making exercise class soundtracks and crappy clothes. I beg you.

Smooches,

KB

The Real Me

While tying my shoes for the third time at the gym the other day, I started to think about quirky little things about me that no one knows about. It got me thinking about my friends and what little oddities they keep hidden from the world. I found out that one friend has an unusual reaction when she goes to yoga class...a very sensual reaction if you know what I mean! Yowza.

In typical KB fashion, I've compiled a list of things you may not know about me:

1. I never learned how to tie my shoes. For whatever reason, I was never formally taught how to tie my laces. As a young lass, I would look over at my brother when he tied his and tried to copy his method. I don't think I copied it correctly because around the age of 12 a friend noticed how I tied my shoes and commented about my process. She said she had never seen anyone tie their shoes like I did. I shrugged it off and kept it moving. I mean, my laces were tied so who cares about the process? Like a hot dog factory, you're only concerned with the end result, don't worry about how the final product was made. However, recently I've noticed that I have to re-tie my shoes more often than I assume I should. In this day of you-tube, I may have to check out a video on proper shoe tying, and finally learn how to tie my shoes. And yes, I'm knocking on 30 years of age.

2. When I look up the customer service contact numbers for various services (utilities, etc.), I'm often tempted to call the hearing impaired number just to see what happens. I know, I'm completely going to hell for even thinking about this. I've never called but boy am I tempted.

3. I never liked peanut butter growing up until I found out, as a teen, that it was extremely high in fat. After finding out its fat content and the need to limit one's intake, I was hooked on the stuff. Do yourself a favor and check out Smucker's crustless PB&J sammiches in the frozen food section of the grocery store. Yum.

4. I'm extremely flexible. My arms can stretch back farther than most, often eliciting a shriek from bystanders when I stretch, lift a barbell, or during yoga class. The flexibility of course came in handy as a javelin thrower in college. And also when I need to grab something behind me and I don't feel like turning around.

5. I probably shouldn't tell you this since someone out there may use this against me as a torture technique, but what the hell. I'm extremely - extremely - ticklish. How ticklish you ask? During a pedicure I once kicked the lady in the chin while she massaged my foot. I have to hold onto the chair for dear life when she's scrubbing the bottom of my feet. Also, when most people cry and scream in pain during a bikini wax, I laugh like crazy. It does hurt but I'm so sensitive and ticklish just a touch on my thigh will send me into a giggle fit. Don't judge me, I'm not a sado-masochist. I swear! My mom said she was really ticklish growing up but lost it when she was around 30. So I've got a couple more years of the inappropriate bursts of laughter.

6. I'm slightly obsessed with numbers. I don't want to go really into it in this public setting, but let's just say I don't really celebrate the new year at 12:00am. I raise my glass at 12:34...and 56 seconds. And if I happen to glance at a clock and it happens to be 12:34, I grin from ear to ear and make a wish. The key is that you can't stare at the time until it turns to 12:34, you have to catch it. I've been doing this since I first learned to tell time. Also, I've felt very lucky to live in an era with so many great date sequences: 7/7/07, 6/7/08, 5/7/09, etc. Go ahead and make fun. It's my thing.

7. I had to add another item, to make the list a solid 7 (my favorite number). Can't end at 6, that's just not right. (See above.)

Your turn. What are some things about you that no one knows about?

Smooches,

KelleBelle

KelleBelle and the City

Picture it: New York, August 2009. KB heads to NYC to reconnect with her fam: besties from law school, Boston, and Philly.

We hit a few bars on Friday night and it's full of pictures, cocktails, weaves, and giggles. Between bar #1 and #2, I lose my iPhone. Tragic, right? As soon as we arrived at bar #2, I checked my ridiculously small purse and immediately noticed the absence of my phone. My heart dropped and everyone gave me a sympathetic look. My one friend told me that I better hope I left it at bar #1 and not in the cab, because if it's in the cab, it's gone forever. Absolutely no chance of recovery. We called bar #1 and no phone. I began to make mental lemonade: no biggie, I'll hop to an Apple/AT&T store in the morning and get another one; I just got this new phone so I was still missing a lot of contacts anyway; at least I have my health...yada yada.

Ten minutes go by...and my friend receives a text...from me! The angel who found my phone said he'd leave it with his doorman and he completely understands the heartbreak of losing your iPhone, as he had done so a few weeks ago in L.A.

Everyone almost fainted in shock at the turn of events. I simply smiled and thought, of course my phone was found by a good person. Why? Because I'm blessed! I've told y'all how well everything has been going lately. So well that I'm trying not to become paranoid that something awful is on the horizon. Just letting the good karma flow...so when we scooped up my phone on our way to bar #3, I was glowing like a bulb. Just enjoying the good fortune and thanking the heavens for my blessings (and leaving a note to the good samaritan that if he ever finds himself in need of assistance in Pittsburgh or LA, let me know).

Bar #3 was the best: it was as if I had stepped into my favorite hip hop lounge in Philly! Apparently it was the first night of a new residence for one of my fav Philly dj's and half the city came with. Ran into some old law school classmates...and met a cutie!

Can you say best night ever?

My bff and I were up mid-morning on Saturday to take a jog around lovely Brooklyn and afterwards headed to the MJ Birthday party in the park. I was a bit underwhelmed by the lack of "show" - there weren't any vendors or performances or entertainment...just a bunch of folks standing in a field, sometimes being addressed by Spike Lee, Ed Lover, and I believe Rev. Sharpton.

But I was really there to see my buddies, which was the best. Afterwards I parted with my BK crew and kicked it with my Philly pals who were in the city. We spent the rest of the evening kicking it with their Philly film crew folks and watched a rough cut of the film they all met on which will be out this fall. Um, I'm going to be FIRST in line when it comes out. Trust. Let's just say there was lots of shirtless pseudo teen porn (male/female; male/male; male/female/male) -- pseudo because all actors were 21+ (taking me out of the pedophile race, right? hello?); and Sandra Bernhard, Ana Gasteyer, Alan Cummings and the city of Philadephia are all co-stars in the film. Need I say more?

Sunday was brunch day with my family - bff from law school (referred to on the J&K show as "Elaine") and her gorgeous daughter and papa. The last time I saw them was in January in LA when they surprised me for my birthday. Elaine's daughter proclaimed on Sunday, "Kelly's all growned up!" upon seeing me. I think that's a good thing! Then she expressed her desire to wear dresses with no straps like mama and I. Not until you're at least in the double digits, young lady.

After brunch I returned to where I was staying and chilled out for a moment to reflect on all of the good fortune I've received, and how lucky I am to have such a vast family of friends. And the best part is I still have to visit my fam (friends and blood relatives) in Philly and DC and elsewhere. I'm one lucky Belle.

The weekend concluded with a lovely date with the aforementioned cutie I met on Friday. Swoon and a half.

I returned to Pittsburgh this morning and although I miss my squad already, I couldn't wait to get back to my life here as I begin to expand my circle of friends yet again, adding to the KB family tree.

Love y'all!

KelleBelle

Random Thoughts: Pet Peeves

In this edition of Random Thoughts, I'm going to list a couple of annoyances that have gotten to me lately. Feel free to add on.

1. Skinny b*tches on TV who purport to eat mass quantities.


Example #1: Grace of Will and Grace. Despite her collar bone and ribs being fully exposed on her ridiculously thin body, Grace constantly went on and on about her ravenous appetite and love for fatty, delicious foods. Give me a break. I bet in real life Debra Messing doesn't eat more than a morsel of food, let alone the cupcakes, bacon, and various other treats she ranted on about on the show.

Example #2: My beloved Liz Lemon on 30 Rock. Liz (portrayed by Tina Fey, above) will make travel plans based on the promise of free pretzels on an airplane, rewards herself with baked goods for planning on going to they gym later, and was once caught singing "I love my block of cheese" around midnight by her boss. B please.

Example #3: Max on Living Single. Max (played by Erika Alexander) was always up in the fridge mooching off of Khadijah, Regine, and Synclaire. Yet she didn't have an ounce of fat on her. Although she did have an athletic figure and definitely was not as painfully thin as Debra, she still was portrayed as a human vacuum and it just didn't add up.

The above characters (not so much Max) do not exercise on the show and are presented to appear lazy, lethargic foodies. However, both are extremely petite and thin (Tina not as much as Debra, but no way she indulges in real life like Liz) and I bet both of their weights are barely out of the double digit range.

This offends me as a former fat kid and as a woman who works out 6 times a week and has convinced herself that grapes are "nature's candy" and reese's pieces are the devil.

2. Fake glasses.


It really burns me when I see people who don't need glasses wearing them to look hip or "nerdy." Stop it. I know it's "cool" now to be a nerd, and some girls think it's cute to admit their nerdy side, "I'm such a nerd - just watched Bill Nye the Science guy, followed by the Simpsons." As if saying "hey, I'm more than just a girl in a bikini on facebook, I'm complex!" No, you're not.

I'm extremely tired of celebrities (specifically music folk) trying to rock the nerdy look. I will only co-sign you wearing those frames if you: 1.) Did not have a date to prom; 2) Were in the Physics club, mathletes, etc.; and 3.) Did not like high school.

Only then will you get a pass. If you don't meet the above criteria, take off those specs and be grateful that you have good eyesight and don't have to wear glasses or contacts!

Thanks for letting me rant.

Have a great week!

KB

The 'Burgh

Hey kids!

I'm supposed to be getting some work done at my neighborhood Starbucks (sniff sniff, I kind of miss Seattle! ...but not too much.), but I'd rather let y'all know how I'm liking my new home turf.

In typical KB fashion, I've compiled a list below with my likes/dislikes thus far of Pittsburgh:

Yays

1. The People! Everyone has been friendly, folksy, neighborhoody, and helpful. Well, most everybody. I haven't had to lift one heavy bag, pay for one drink, sit alone at any restaurant/bar/cafe, etc., or wander aimlessly in a store clearly in need of help since I've arrived. This is in stark contrast to Seattle, where people would walk over your limp, dying body (with hand grasping for help) on the sidewalk, instead of dare see if they could be of assistance. God forbid they intrude on your personal space.

In addition to the friendliness, Pittsburgh natives are hard core proud of their town. Can you blame them? The city has been named "Most Livable City" 4 years in a row by the Economist and they are the home of world champion Football and Hockey teams. I'm already a die hard fan and I've only been to one Steelers game! That reminds me, I've gotta get my black and gold wardrobe game on.

2. My neighborhood. It's the most diverse joint ever: every race you can think of - with the slight majority being Jewish! And plenty of asian/vegetarian restaurants with tofu. I'm home! ;)

3. My gym. State of the art equipment, facilities...and the BEST thing about having the gym at the Jewish Community Center is everyone knows how to spell my last name!! Mazel Tov! And I can't stop giggling when the "chosen" members (they do allow gentiles in the joint fyi) whip their heads around and stare when I say my full name aloud.

4. Cost of living. Son, when the owner of my building told me the rent for my ginormous apartment I had to ask him to repeat it, twice. I was sure I heard him wrong or it was a biweekly payment.

Nays

1. The humidity. Chile, KB hasn't been in this kind of heat since Philly in the summer of 07. Yet I've still tried to rock the hair stick straight a couple times. Stuck to my face but I worked it out.

2. My gym. Yes the facilities are great and everything is brand new but the exercise classes are SNOOZE. I suppose I'm just used to exercise instructors that are fierce, fun, and have the best music. I've mentioned this before - my exercise instructor should have a BETTER body than me! I mean how do you expect me to follow you when your belly is flapping and you're sweating way more than me 15 minutes into the class? Defined muscle tone should be a job requirement in my opinion.

3. BNT. I thought NYC/NJ was the BNT capital of the U.S.? They don't got nathan on Pittsburgh honey. There are bridges and tunnels every step you take. I take a bridge and a tunnel to work everyday. It's fine because I go against traffic, but when I'm not it's a hot, red-light filled mess. I actually heard last night that Pittsburgh has the most bridges in any U.S. city. 2nd in the world to Venice? Or maybe that was just the tipsy frat guy tryna impress me with his knowledge of Pitt trivia.

4. I'm squad-less. Y'all know KB considers her friends as family, so it was quite daunting to move to a place where I'd be completely solo (sans for Kingston). But, in usual KB style I've garnered quite a few squad members already, and I have a feeling a solid 'Burgh squad is gonna be up and running by fall. I mean, I needs to start baking and hosting cocktail parties, stat, lest I get all in a tizzy and start reading for pleasure or doing something more productive with my free time.

Anyone else make a move recently? (You know who I'm talking to!) =)

Can't wait for y'all to visit!

KelleBelle

Road Trip!

Picture it: KelleBelle and Kingston embark on a 2500+ mile road trip across the country. I hate road trips. But I can tolerate one-way trips if it's to relocate.

First of all, let's go over how the trip started. I left Seattle at 5:30am on Thursday, July 30th and of course planned on getting to bed by 10pm Wednesday night in order to be fully rested for the long drive. I was done packing, finished winding up my affairs, and said my goodbyes to everyone...except my BFF (in Seattle) Choklate*.

We still hadn't said our farewells, nor did we exchange parting gifts we had for one another. So she comes over around 9pm, swapped gifts (I LOVE having friends that wear my shoe size!! She gave me two super sweet pairs she never wore. And I gave her two fierce pairs of mine that she could do way more justice than I ever could), popped open a final bottle of wine and chat.

Then we decided to hit up our favorite lounge around the way, which has a fly wednesday night live jam session. Did I mention it was now 1am? So off we go. We had the nerve to saunter in the joint at 1:30am...when the place closes at 2. We commence drinking, dancing, chatting with our homies...and walk out of the joint at 3am. At this point sleep wasn't happening. So we go to this dope 24 hour restaurant, have big salads and lots of water, chat with a few music industry folks Chok knew that happened to be there, and set out again. We walked back to my place...packed up my car, and Kingston and I hit the road at 5:30am!

At approximately 7:15am, about 75 miles from Spokane, WA, I realize I forgot to pack a very important section of my bedroom: my goodie drawer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I immediately called Chok, who was napping in my place, and told her to please clean it out, and feel free to keep any of the, ahem, stuff that was in there (everything was in wrappers and new - y'all know KB don't mess with toys and such). Thank goodness she was there - can you imagine the real estate agent and owner finding the contents of the drawer?! I'd die.

So Kingston and I drive through Washington, Idaho, and arrive in Billings, Montana around 8:30pm. Chile, Billings is hood. I took Kingston with me every time I needed to go down to the car to retrieve something. I swear the population was full of meth heads and crack feigns. Just weird looking folks strolling down the streets. Yikes.

Up early Friday morning, we head to Fargo, ND. I know what you're thinking: snooze city.

But no!! Why? Because one of my close friends from law school lives there! We had a friggin' ball honey. She of course was thrilled she actually had a visitor. I swore to her when she first moved there that I would never, ever visit her. But when my trip had me crossing through ND, of course I had to stop by. Friday night in Fargo was...an experience. We went to approximately19 bars, three restaurants, and I believe a piggly wiggly.

Here's a funny thing about Fargo: every place has about 14 different establishments within it. For instance, we went to this one complex that held 5 different clubs/bars, three restaurants (including one Hooters), a liquor store, some sort of dry cleaning/laundry place, a small casino/gambling area, and I swear I saw some sort of chapel in the back.

No bar is just a bar. Walk around the corner and make a left, you're in a free clinic. Hang a right? You're in the middle of a gas station.

We had such a ball (and I really didn't feel like driving all day again) that I stayed in Fargo all day Saturday and we worked out, reminisced about law school at Ruby Tuesdays for about 4 hours, then painted our nails and watched Real Housewives of Atlanta at her fabulous apartment. Pretty much the best visit ever.

Kingston and I hit the road at 9am Sunday morning and made our way to Chicago. We slid in around 8pm and had the best time with big bro and his crew. After a quick change, we bar hopped in his 'hood. One bar was playing my favorite movie in the world, "The Toy", so I was there for about an hour and a half watching and drinking. Then we hit this other bar that gave free personal pizzas with every drink! Awesome.

We got back to my bro's place around 1am and hit the sack. Kingston and I packed up our stuff once more, and hit the road at 8am. I realized what the key is to a successful visit with the bro-ham: Make it 12 hours! There's no time to fight or bicker at all. Short and sweet. :)

Finally, Kingston and I make our way Monday morning to our final destination: Pittsburgh!

We rolled into the 'Burgh around 5pm and I drove straight to the mall to go to the AT&T store and get my new iPhone. My og phone died somewhere between Wisconsin and Illinois. :(

I wanted to upgrade anyway, so it was all good. Then we checked into our hotel and slept for about 12 hours!

Everything has gone so well since I arrived here I can't help but feel like George Costanza. Something bad must be on the horizon. Everything's going so smoothly!! The 5 days at the hotel went swell, I found an amazing apartment in the greatest neighborhood ever, got the hookup on all of my furniture, have met the nicest, welcoming people, and my job is friggin' awesome.

I'm actually going to go to church on Sunday to give thanks. Shoot, I may hit up the synagogue on Saturday too, just to cover my bases. ;)

Love love love all y'all! Regularly scheduled blogging will commence shortly.

Xoxo,

KB

*check out her new album, "To Whom It May Concern" - It's amazing!!

Random Thoughts

1. Lessons learned from the Steve McNair Tragedy.

Be careful who your side piece is. It's looking like the murder of the beloved football player was at the hands of his 20-year-old jump off. McNair was married with 4 kids but seemingly had a separate life with his chick, whom he met while she was a waitress at a Dave and Busters that he frequented with his family. I highly doubt this tragedy will cause other professional athletes (and regular joes) to second guess a booty offering from a young crazy broad, but I hope so.

2. The Michael Jackson coverage.

I'm sorry but has everyone (I'm talking to you CNN!) lost their damn minds? MJ was an incredible figure in our society and affected many people by his music and generous contributions to charities...but yo, the coverage of his death and memorial service is off the wall (yup, pun intended!). You would think this dude cured cancer, freed slaves, something! I was not around when JFK was shot, but I can only see this kind of media coverage when a figure such as John John dies in such a tragic and public fashion. Not the sudden death of a pop star (yes he was King of pop but you know that doesn't make him technically royalty fyi) who was visibly unhealthy and had a lengthy history of medical problems...I'm just saying, let the man rest, and let's focus on other issues in addition to the tragic loss of MJ. Has anyone heard an update on the two reporters imprisoned in North Korea lately? Any news on Afghanistan? Hello? Uncle Leo?

3. Oprah's fat. Again.

I called my mom yesterday to tell her to watch the Oprah show. It was about her weight challenges. I watched the first 5 minutes and really liked what I was hearing. Oprah was being "real" and I appreciated it. She said that you'd think with all the money, fame, success, she'd be happy...but if you still cannot control your weight and can't fit into your clothes, you can never be fully at peace or happy. I completely understand.

I talked to mom dukes today and we spoke about the show. Moms had me dying! She said she liked the show but she disagreed with one thing O said. It was about the pressure that she feels each month when she has to go the "O" Magazine cover shoot and try on clothes. My mom said, "well, if she didn't put herself on the cover each month, that would relieve a lot of pressure." True dat! Moms was like, "it was fine the first few months the magazine came out, but after that it got annoying. I mean, who else only has a picture of themselves on their magazine each month?" I gotta agree. Sure she's shared the cover with her dogs and Michelle O once. But she really doesn't need to be on the cover each month. I wonder if she'll be sandwiched in betwixt Venus and Serena for next month's cover in light of their Wimbledon battle?

Alright y'all...until the next time.

Smooches!

KB

The Illest Nana of them All

Some time must be spent on the absolute tomfoolery and fuckery of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford.

Hey, I'm a romantic and am all about finding one's soul mate. But get your shit in order first. Don't let the goodies make you lose your mind now. Apparently Governor Sanford did not get the memo.

A few thoughts:

• Telling a few folks that you "went for a walk" and then having some fool make up some "happened upon the Appalachian trail" nonsense is not going to cover a ghost's tracks.

• Son, can I get an out-of-office reply? Something!

• And damn, I don't celebrate Father's day, but if I was a pop of four children...I'd at least give them a call or let them know my number at the jump-off's crib in Argentina. That's ice cold.

• Why do you continue to discuss your illicit affair?? Sanford got the ultimate chance to just quickly push his drama under the rug and quietly resign. But what does he do? This mutha waits until a few days have passed since MJ's death and holds yet another press conference, to announce more affairs!

Either his side piece has the illest of them all, or dude really didn't want to be Governor anymore. Hey, do you, but try to be a lil' more on it next time!

Smooches,

KelleBelle

The King is Dead

For complete, insightful, witty coverage on Michael Jackson's untimely passing, please visit http://www.whatwouldthembido.com/

I'm now going to focus on some of the taboo subjects surrounding his death, that no one (at least in the media) wants to discuss.

1. Those kids.

Look, I'm a product of the heavenly black and white combination. Those kids are not. They could possibly pass for his kids if he truly looked like he does now, genetically. I know they are doing great shizz with science these days, but I do not think we are at the point where you can genetically mutate a fetus to only take on the (white) mother's genes. There is no way in hells bells those kids have a black father, complete with nappy hair and a wide nose. No way!

2. Diana Ross as fill-in guardian.

I love me some Diana, but is she really the best substitute to take care of his kids in the event that his elder mother cannot fill the role? I believe she has been chillin' with her fabo european husband in paris or rome or somewhere kick-ass, and I have a feeling she is through raising chil'ren. Didn't Evan Ross like flee the coup at age 10? Or mayhaps I made that up.

3. Cause of death.

Similar to Heath Ledger's untimely death, no one wants to talk about what really went down. I'm not saying we should bring up the true cause, especially if it will only serve to shed negative light on his otherwise amazing impact and legacy he will leave, but it could possibly be a very valuable lesson for the masses. As in, do not mix sleeping pills with certain other drugs, etc.

4. Pandora's "Michael Jackson" station

This isn't a taboo subject, but I must make a comment regarding my disappointment with Pandora. Immediately after MJ's death, I created a Michael Jackson station. As you know, to create a station on Pandora you enter the name of an artist, song, or album and Pandora creates a "station" based on the selection and plays music that is similar/related to what you typed in. For example, say you have, oh I don't know, an "NWA" station. Expect to hear some Dre, Cube, etc., in addition to songs from those ninjas with attitude. So, I create the MJ station. The first few songs were by Michael, Earth Wind & Fire, and Stevie Wonder. No surprise there. But Justin Timberlake? Pardon?? They played JT 3 times over a 9 song span! If you're going to throw in biters, might as well add every other pop jerk that stole MJ's moves and sound. Tsk tsk Pandora. You'll be on the business end of a strongly worded email from yours truly very shortly.

5. The BET awards.

Really?

Okay my Pretty Young Thangs...I'm off (the wall)!

Smooches,

KB

Size Queen

No, no, not that size. And yes, KB (and I believe Jake as well) is definitely a size queen in that regard.

But I'm referring to the super-size nature of American culture. I was having a great girl-chat session with my buddy Andrew (see his amazingly personal and interesting blog/diary at andrewwnichols.blogspot.com) last week and he asked me what I thought caused the mortgage/financial crisis. I said simply, greed. Not just by the bankers, investors, and all of dem. I'm referring to American's "need" for the grandiose: the Hummer, the huge house that you don't need, the fancy car you can't afford, the purses, the "poppin' bottles", all of that excess.

Andrew, a new homeowner, mentioned that he was approved for a loan in the range of $300,000 and was encouraged by his real estate agent to look for a bigger piece of property than what he eventually settled on. He declined, and instead bought a small place that fit his lifestyle perfectly - and was "only" $135,000 - less than half of what he could have bought. I immediately chided the real estate agent for the prodding of Andrew - of course she/he would encourage him to buy a bigger house. The higher the purchase price, the higher their commission.

I think more people should be like Andrew and not take out the maximum line of credit - for a credit card, mortgage, student loan, etc. Live within your means - actually, live below your means. I have to say this was a hard lesson for me to learn - after all, I was raised in LA where people would drive their fancy Mercedes Benz's and Lexi all over town...and park it in the garage (or on the street) of a down trodden one-bedroom apartment in the hood. It was all about image and keeping up with those fuckers the Jones'. My mama waited until she was retired and stacked her chips before she finally got her Benz. Growing up we never had a fancy car or wore designer labels (Slauson swapmeet holler!) but we lived in a nice house in a safe neighborhood.

I had a friend at USC who spent $4000 on a Dior purse and lived in her grandma's converted garage in Compton. Huh? Meanwhile, ya girl KB rocked her Nine West clutch and Steve Maddens...and lived in a spacious apartment near campus. Years later in Philly, I tried to dissuade a friend from buying a 4-story house. Why did a single woman who travelled frequently need such a grand home? I suppose she wanted it because she could have it. So she did. I believe it has been on the market now for over a year...

Even folks are super-sizing their families! Who on earth needs (or can support) 18 kids? Or 8? Someone please stop the madness.

I'm not saying I'm the black Suzie Orman, but I think my priorities in terms of spending are somewhat intact.

Off to H&M for some discount shopping and then I'm catching a matinee (bringing my own snacks of course - healthier and incredibly cheaper than the $13 medium sized popcorn).

Xoxo,

KB