KelleBelle and the City

Picture it: New York, August 2009. KB heads to NYC to reconnect with her fam: besties from law school, Boston, and Philly.

We hit a few bars on Friday night and it's full of pictures, cocktails, weaves, and giggles. Between bar #1 and #2, I lose my iPhone. Tragic, right? As soon as we arrived at bar #2, I checked my ridiculously small purse and immediately noticed the absence of my phone. My heart dropped and everyone gave me a sympathetic look. My one friend told me that I better hope I left it at bar #1 and not in the cab, because if it's in the cab, it's gone forever. Absolutely no chance of recovery. We called bar #1 and no phone. I began to make mental lemonade: no biggie, I'll hop to an Apple/AT&T store in the morning and get another one; I just got this new phone so I was still missing a lot of contacts anyway; at least I have my health...yada yada.

Ten minutes go by...and my friend receives a text...from me! The angel who found my phone said he'd leave it with his doorman and he completely understands the heartbreak of losing your iPhone, as he had done so a few weeks ago in L.A.

Everyone almost fainted in shock at the turn of events. I simply smiled and thought, of course my phone was found by a good person. Why? Because I'm blessed! I've told y'all how well everything has been going lately. So well that I'm trying not to become paranoid that something awful is on the horizon. Just letting the good karma flow...so when we scooped up my phone on our way to bar #3, I was glowing like a bulb. Just enjoying the good fortune and thanking the heavens for my blessings (and leaving a note to the good samaritan that if he ever finds himself in need of assistance in Pittsburgh or LA, let me know).

Bar #3 was the best: it was as if I had stepped into my favorite hip hop lounge in Philly! Apparently it was the first night of a new residence for one of my fav Philly dj's and half the city came with. Ran into some old law school classmates...and met a cutie!

Can you say best night ever?

My bff and I were up mid-morning on Saturday to take a jog around lovely Brooklyn and afterwards headed to the MJ Birthday party in the park. I was a bit underwhelmed by the lack of "show" - there weren't any vendors or performances or entertainment...just a bunch of folks standing in a field, sometimes being addressed by Spike Lee, Ed Lover, and I believe Rev. Sharpton.

But I was really there to see my buddies, which was the best. Afterwards I parted with my BK crew and kicked it with my Philly pals who were in the city. We spent the rest of the evening kicking it with their Philly film crew folks and watched a rough cut of the film they all met on which will be out this fall. Um, I'm going to be FIRST in line when it comes out. Trust. Let's just say there was lots of shirtless pseudo teen porn (male/female; male/male; male/female/male) -- pseudo because all actors were 21+ (taking me out of the pedophile race, right? hello?); and Sandra Bernhard, Ana Gasteyer, Alan Cummings and the city of Philadephia are all co-stars in the film. Need I say more?

Sunday was brunch day with my family - bff from law school (referred to on the J&K show as "Elaine") and her gorgeous daughter and papa. The last time I saw them was in January in LA when they surprised me for my birthday. Elaine's daughter proclaimed on Sunday, "Kelly's all growned up!" upon seeing me. I think that's a good thing! Then she expressed her desire to wear dresses with no straps like mama and I. Not until you're at least in the double digits, young lady.

After brunch I returned to where I was staying and chilled out for a moment to reflect on all of the good fortune I've received, and how lucky I am to have such a vast family of friends. And the best part is I still have to visit my fam (friends and blood relatives) in Philly and DC and elsewhere. I'm one lucky Belle.

The weekend concluded with a lovely date with the aforementioned cutie I met on Friday. Swoon and a half.

I returned to Pittsburgh this morning and although I miss my squad already, I couldn't wait to get back to my life here as I begin to expand my circle of friends yet again, adding to the KB family tree.

Love y'all!

KelleBelle

Random Thoughts: Pet Peeves

In this edition of Random Thoughts, I'm going to list a couple of annoyances that have gotten to me lately. Feel free to add on.

1. Skinny b*tches on TV who purport to eat mass quantities.


Example #1: Grace of Will and Grace. Despite her collar bone and ribs being fully exposed on her ridiculously thin body, Grace constantly went on and on about her ravenous appetite and love for fatty, delicious foods. Give me a break. I bet in real life Debra Messing doesn't eat more than a morsel of food, let alone the cupcakes, bacon, and various other treats she ranted on about on the show.

Example #2: My beloved Liz Lemon on 30 Rock. Liz (portrayed by Tina Fey, above) will make travel plans based on the promise of free pretzels on an airplane, rewards herself with baked goods for planning on going to they gym later, and was once caught singing "I love my block of cheese" around midnight by her boss. B please.

Example #3: Max on Living Single. Max (played by Erika Alexander) was always up in the fridge mooching off of Khadijah, Regine, and Synclaire. Yet she didn't have an ounce of fat on her. Although she did have an athletic figure and definitely was not as painfully thin as Debra, she still was portrayed as a human vacuum and it just didn't add up.

The above characters (not so much Max) do not exercise on the show and are presented to appear lazy, lethargic foodies. However, both are extremely petite and thin (Tina not as much as Debra, but no way she indulges in real life like Liz) and I bet both of their weights are barely out of the double digit range.

This offends me as a former fat kid and as a woman who works out 6 times a week and has convinced herself that grapes are "nature's candy" and reese's pieces are the devil.

2. Fake glasses.


It really burns me when I see people who don't need glasses wearing them to look hip or "nerdy." Stop it. I know it's "cool" now to be a nerd, and some girls think it's cute to admit their nerdy side, "I'm such a nerd - just watched Bill Nye the Science guy, followed by the Simpsons." As if saying "hey, I'm more than just a girl in a bikini on facebook, I'm complex!" No, you're not.

I'm extremely tired of celebrities (specifically music folk) trying to rock the nerdy look. I will only co-sign you wearing those frames if you: 1.) Did not have a date to prom; 2) Were in the Physics club, mathletes, etc.; and 3.) Did not like high school.

Only then will you get a pass. If you don't meet the above criteria, take off those specs and be grateful that you have good eyesight and don't have to wear glasses or contacts!

Thanks for letting me rant.

Have a great week!

KB

The 'Burgh

Hey kids!

I'm supposed to be getting some work done at my neighborhood Starbucks (sniff sniff, I kind of miss Seattle! ...but not too much.), but I'd rather let y'all know how I'm liking my new home turf.

In typical KB fashion, I've compiled a list below with my likes/dislikes thus far of Pittsburgh:

Yays

1. The People! Everyone has been friendly, folksy, neighborhoody, and helpful. Well, most everybody. I haven't had to lift one heavy bag, pay for one drink, sit alone at any restaurant/bar/cafe, etc., or wander aimlessly in a store clearly in need of help since I've arrived. This is in stark contrast to Seattle, where people would walk over your limp, dying body (with hand grasping for help) on the sidewalk, instead of dare see if they could be of assistance. God forbid they intrude on your personal space.

In addition to the friendliness, Pittsburgh natives are hard core proud of their town. Can you blame them? The city has been named "Most Livable City" 4 years in a row by the Economist and they are the home of world champion Football and Hockey teams. I'm already a die hard fan and I've only been to one Steelers game! That reminds me, I've gotta get my black and gold wardrobe game on.

2. My neighborhood. It's the most diverse joint ever: every race you can think of - with the slight majority being Jewish! And plenty of asian/vegetarian restaurants with tofu. I'm home! ;)

3. My gym. State of the art equipment, facilities...and the BEST thing about having the gym at the Jewish Community Center is everyone knows how to spell my last name!! Mazel Tov! And I can't stop giggling when the "chosen" members (they do allow gentiles in the joint fyi) whip their heads around and stare when I say my full name aloud.

4. Cost of living. Son, when the owner of my building told me the rent for my ginormous apartment I had to ask him to repeat it, twice. I was sure I heard him wrong or it was a biweekly payment.

Nays

1. The humidity. Chile, KB hasn't been in this kind of heat since Philly in the summer of 07. Yet I've still tried to rock the hair stick straight a couple times. Stuck to my face but I worked it out.

2. My gym. Yes the facilities are great and everything is brand new but the exercise classes are SNOOZE. I suppose I'm just used to exercise instructors that are fierce, fun, and have the best music. I've mentioned this before - my exercise instructor should have a BETTER body than me! I mean how do you expect me to follow you when your belly is flapping and you're sweating way more than me 15 minutes into the class? Defined muscle tone should be a job requirement in my opinion.

3. BNT. I thought NYC/NJ was the BNT capital of the U.S.? They don't got nathan on Pittsburgh honey. There are bridges and tunnels every step you take. I take a bridge and a tunnel to work everyday. It's fine because I go against traffic, but when I'm not it's a hot, red-light filled mess. I actually heard last night that Pittsburgh has the most bridges in any U.S. city. 2nd in the world to Venice? Or maybe that was just the tipsy frat guy tryna impress me with his knowledge of Pitt trivia.

4. I'm squad-less. Y'all know KB considers her friends as family, so it was quite daunting to move to a place where I'd be completely solo (sans for Kingston). But, in usual KB style I've garnered quite a few squad members already, and I have a feeling a solid 'Burgh squad is gonna be up and running by fall. I mean, I needs to start baking and hosting cocktail parties, stat, lest I get all in a tizzy and start reading for pleasure or doing something more productive with my free time.

Anyone else make a move recently? (You know who I'm talking to!) =)

Can't wait for y'all to visit!

KelleBelle

Road Trip!

Picture it: KelleBelle and Kingston embark on a 2500+ mile road trip across the country. I hate road trips. But I can tolerate one-way trips if it's to relocate.

First of all, let's go over how the trip started. I left Seattle at 5:30am on Thursday, July 30th and of course planned on getting to bed by 10pm Wednesday night in order to be fully rested for the long drive. I was done packing, finished winding up my affairs, and said my goodbyes to everyone...except my BFF (in Seattle) Choklate*.

We still hadn't said our farewells, nor did we exchange parting gifts we had for one another. So she comes over around 9pm, swapped gifts (I LOVE having friends that wear my shoe size!! She gave me two super sweet pairs she never wore. And I gave her two fierce pairs of mine that she could do way more justice than I ever could), popped open a final bottle of wine and chat.

Then we decided to hit up our favorite lounge around the way, which has a fly wednesday night live jam session. Did I mention it was now 1am? So off we go. We had the nerve to saunter in the joint at 1:30am...when the place closes at 2. We commence drinking, dancing, chatting with our homies...and walk out of the joint at 3am. At this point sleep wasn't happening. So we go to this dope 24 hour restaurant, have big salads and lots of water, chat with a few music industry folks Chok knew that happened to be there, and set out again. We walked back to my place...packed up my car, and Kingston and I hit the road at 5:30am!

At approximately 7:15am, about 75 miles from Spokane, WA, I realize I forgot to pack a very important section of my bedroom: my goodie drawer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I immediately called Chok, who was napping in my place, and told her to please clean it out, and feel free to keep any of the, ahem, stuff that was in there (everything was in wrappers and new - y'all know KB don't mess with toys and such). Thank goodness she was there - can you imagine the real estate agent and owner finding the contents of the drawer?! I'd die.

So Kingston and I drive through Washington, Idaho, and arrive in Billings, Montana around 8:30pm. Chile, Billings is hood. I took Kingston with me every time I needed to go down to the car to retrieve something. I swear the population was full of meth heads and crack feigns. Just weird looking folks strolling down the streets. Yikes.

Up early Friday morning, we head to Fargo, ND. I know what you're thinking: snooze city.

But no!! Why? Because one of my close friends from law school lives there! We had a friggin' ball honey. She of course was thrilled she actually had a visitor. I swore to her when she first moved there that I would never, ever visit her. But when my trip had me crossing through ND, of course I had to stop by. Friday night in Fargo was...an experience. We went to approximately19 bars, three restaurants, and I believe a piggly wiggly.

Here's a funny thing about Fargo: every place has about 14 different establishments within it. For instance, we went to this one complex that held 5 different clubs/bars, three restaurants (including one Hooters), a liquor store, some sort of dry cleaning/laundry place, a small casino/gambling area, and I swear I saw some sort of chapel in the back.

No bar is just a bar. Walk around the corner and make a left, you're in a free clinic. Hang a right? You're in the middle of a gas station.

We had such a ball (and I really didn't feel like driving all day again) that I stayed in Fargo all day Saturday and we worked out, reminisced about law school at Ruby Tuesdays for about 4 hours, then painted our nails and watched Real Housewives of Atlanta at her fabulous apartment. Pretty much the best visit ever.

Kingston and I hit the road at 9am Sunday morning and made our way to Chicago. We slid in around 8pm and had the best time with big bro and his crew. After a quick change, we bar hopped in his 'hood. One bar was playing my favorite movie in the world, "The Toy", so I was there for about an hour and a half watching and drinking. Then we hit this other bar that gave free personal pizzas with every drink! Awesome.

We got back to my bro's place around 1am and hit the sack. Kingston and I packed up our stuff once more, and hit the road at 8am. I realized what the key is to a successful visit with the bro-ham: Make it 12 hours! There's no time to fight or bicker at all. Short and sweet. :)

Finally, Kingston and I make our way Monday morning to our final destination: Pittsburgh!

We rolled into the 'Burgh around 5pm and I drove straight to the mall to go to the AT&T store and get my new iPhone. My og phone died somewhere between Wisconsin and Illinois. :(

I wanted to upgrade anyway, so it was all good. Then we checked into our hotel and slept for about 12 hours!

Everything has gone so well since I arrived here I can't help but feel like George Costanza. Something bad must be on the horizon. Everything's going so smoothly!! The 5 days at the hotel went swell, I found an amazing apartment in the greatest neighborhood ever, got the hookup on all of my furniture, have met the nicest, welcoming people, and my job is friggin' awesome.

I'm actually going to go to church on Sunday to give thanks. Shoot, I may hit up the synagogue on Saturday too, just to cover my bases. ;)

Love love love all y'all! Regularly scheduled blogging will commence shortly.

Xoxo,

KB

*check out her new album, "To Whom It May Concern" - It's amazing!!