Random Thoughts: Is it just me...?

Is it just me or have you noticed that the media refers to President Obama as "Mr. Obama" or just "Obama" or his full name, "Barack Obama"?

I don't remember the media referring to GW as "Mr. Bush" or "Bush" (stop giggling) as much. Can some think-tank conduct some kind of study to determine if my observation is fact? I just find it disrespectful addressing the President (whoever it may be at the time) by anything but his formal title.

Is it just me or do pregnant people and new mothers completely erase from their vocabulary normal measurements of time? One of my dear friends sent some gorgeous pictures of her growing belly and proclaimed "Can you believe I'm 33 and a half weeks already?!" I immediately furrowed my brow and thought...she's 11 months pregnant?! That can't be right. So off I went to my calculator and figured it out. Um, preggers people can you please just say you're 8 and a half months pregnant? Your non-preggers friends would appreciate it. Also, new mommies: After your kid turns 4 I think it's okay to stop calculating his/her age in months. Little Kev is 49 months! They grow so fast.

Is it just me or is it time to remove "Negro" from the race section on the Census form? I was startled when I saw "Black, African Am., or Negro" as the second choice after White.

Is it just me or have some recent reports of Toyotas going nuts sound mad suspect? Not one has been confirmed to be the car's fault, and all signs are pointing to human error. I have a sneaking suspicion that a few crappy drivers are using the recall to excuse said crappy driving. Case in point: I was in a large parking lot of a shopping center last night, stopped behind a car, as we were both making left turns to exit the lot. The car in front of me was not going more than five (5) miles per hour when she ran directly into the pole on the other side of the two way lane. She was going so slow I literally watched in slow motion as she busted the left headlight of her car into the pole.

As I witnessed the slow-mo crash, I asked aloud, "Is she going to keep going and roll into that pole?" Yup. Clearly no one was hurt, and when the woman pulled over to take a look at the damage she created I couldn't help but chuckle. She was older - around 60, so it's not like she was texting or updating her facebook page on her iphone that caused her to be distracted. At least I hope not. She was driving a luxury looking SUV. What brand? Toyota! Twenty bucks says she tells the dealer the car accelerated on its own.

Is it just me or has the downright f*ckery and tomfoolery going down in Congress gone way too far? All of this violence and upheaval...over making sure the citizens you supposedly represent don't die in the street after being kicked out of a hospital because they don't have health insurance. And I still do not get the rationale that we can't afford healthcare...but the war? Sure! More military spending! Um, shouldn't we be putting money behind programs that keep people alive?

Finally, is it just me or has Mother Nature been a straight up b*tch lately? I mean really. Enough with the devastating earthquakes and never-ending snow storms. (Side bar: we are expecting snow overnight in lovely pittsburgh. It's gonna be MF april next week! what in the ef.)

Meanwhile, I almost had a heart attack last week when I was sitting on my couch with Kingston watching something on Bravo when all of a sudden an extremely bright light flashed through the windows in the dining room. I jumped up and was terrified. Did some crazy neighbor just snap a picture of me?! The flash was so bright! Then I heard it. Thunder! That flash was lightning. I felt like a narcissistic fool (ain't nobody tryna take a picture of me in my yoga gear sipping a cosmo), Kingston rolled his eyes, and went back to sleep.

Thanks for letting me vent...my random thoughts.

Smooches!

KB

Content City. Population: Me.

Whilst sipping $17 vodka&diet cokes with Jake and his bestie at the W this past weekend in NYC, Jake confessed that he hasn't blogged in awhile because he just hasn't felt inspired. I totally hear that.

I rarely feel the urge to post more than twice a month or so. Jake's buddy suggested we write about what we like. Jake insisted he needs more structure, a focus to narrow down the topics on what we blog about. Well, we have yet to come up with a central theme (besides f*ckery and tomfoolery) but I am going to follow Jake's friend's suggestion and write about what I like. The focus today? Pittsburgh.

Yes, kittens, I like Pittsburgh. It can be boring and weird, and there's an extreme shortage of eye candy, but dang it there are some really positive aspects about this place that I really dig.

For example, I was returning to my car after purchasing my happy juice from the wine & spirits store (don't judge) when a meter-maid approached me and said, "Will you do me a favor and put a quarter in the meter so I can rip up your ticket?" I stared at her in complete disbelief and confusion. "Huh? Wait, what? Oh! Okay! Thanks!!" And I promptly put in a quarter, thanked the meter maid again, and went on about my way.

Who does that? Chile, I still talk about the $80 jaywalking ticket I got in LA in 2000. Jaywalking. And the light was GREEN, but the red hand was flashing. I asked the cop, "Isn't someone being maimed or raped right now?" Ugh.

Last night I was all kindsa hyped to celebrate my first St. Patrick's Day in the 'Burgh. Snooze. I had fun catching up with a few buddies but per usual, there was NO talent and I was ready for bed by 7:30. The highlight of the evening was the bartender. He kept filling my glass everytime it was less than half full with a mischievous yet welcoming grin on his red face. Oh and ps the drinks were $2.50 a pop. And they weren't on special.

My friends asked me when I was moving out of Pittsburgh since I've been leaving almost every weekend for destinations with decent nightlife, weather, style (I saw no less than 10 outfits in NYC I plan on replicating), and of course, attractive mens. I told them I ain't leaving for a minute. The thing is I really like Pittsburgh. During the week.

My job is the cat's meow, and it's so easy living here. It's no surprise the 'Burgh was voted "Most Livable City" 4 years in a row by the Economist. During the week my routine is mundane and predictable and I love it. The weekends here are usually boring yet relaxing and that's fine...sometimes...but mama needs to live, so it looks like I'mma be a weekend warrior jetting off to locales that fulfill my fun, fashion, and flirting needs.

Sounds like a plan to me.

My name is Kelle Belle von Benson Simone. And I'm happy to be here.

Wherever you are, I hope you're happy too.

Smooches!

KB

The J&K Show hit the road...again

Picture it: Summer 2008. Jake was in LA after driving down the coast from Frisco in a convertible. I know, cliche much? Jokes. Jake comes by KB's crib and the pair frolic at the beach for days on end, making pitchers and pitchers of Sangria before said frolicking.

Now picture it: March 2010. Rainy NYC. J&K are in town to celebrate the impending birth of a mutual bestie's babe. Cue the pitchers of Sangria and commence the frolicking. It was as if we had just seen each other the other day.

After getting entirely too giddy on champagne and pink cupcakes at said friend's baby shower on the lower east side, J&K and crew head back to KB's hotel room to kick it with our old buddy Bob.

After the crew leaves, one of Jake's besties I've only admired in pictures (yummers!) comes by and the trio heads to the bar at the W where we discuss everything and nothing at all. Most notably Jake's amazing idea to get rich quick: raffles. As in raffling off an old sweater. Or a house. Jake's bff and I exchanged bewildered looks ("they already have that, it's called Ebay"), and wanted to confirm it wasn't the drinks or bob making his idea sound absolutely ludicrous. Nope, it was ridic all on its own.

But we heart him nonetheless. And his hot pink messiness. Who books a flight from the wrong airport? Chile, somehow both J&K made their respective flights, after a long embrace and tearful goodbye. Okay, so I was tearing up because my fake eyelashes were a b*tch to take off the night before and left my eyeballs sensitive. Those tears were real. So much has happened since the last J&K meeting on the road. And I think our readers would be proud. We've accomplished some pretty admirable thangs since our last meet-up (bar exams, cross country moves, flourishing careers, new dogs, old dogs, loves, likes, and everything in between) and I foresee nothing but more fierceness in the future.

The next reunion is hopefully just around the corner. A touch of tomfoolery and f*ckery was just what the doctor ordered.

Smooches,

KelleBelle