How to Survive the Holidays, the J&K way

Picture it: Christmas 2009. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

I'm alone in a new city, and there is ice and snow on the roads. My alarm wakes me at 6:30 am. I'm up early not to see what that fat bastard with the beard brought me (I'm certain he would have left me coal...and maybe some airplane sized bottles of booze to ease the pain), but to get ready for my own version of America's Next Top Model - the Geriatric edition. Yes chile, KB volunteered at a convalescent home Christmas morning. My task? Well, I'm glad you asked.

It was my job to get the residents "dolled up" for their holiday party and family visits. I must admit, I am not the best with the elderly population. I mean really really elderly people, that usually have health problems and are not fully functional. However, for whatever reason this project just seemed too good to pass up, despite my reservations. So off I went at 9am in full hair & makeup in a fierce red dress (with leopard print pumps of course) to the retirement home.

Honey, let me tell you...I met KelleBelle at 90! Her name is Irene (I call her "Reenie") and she is F-i-e-r-c-e. After I did her hair and makeup ("not too much rouge, I don't want to look like a floosie") it was time for nails. Reenie let me know that she sits with a lovely group of gentlemen everyday at dinner and tonight she was going to flash her "fancy fingernails" to the men and show off her gorgeous hands. Love her! She told me that she was married once, and her husband had long since passed, so she was very happy that she was assigned to her dining room table where she is the sole woman. "Why sit with women? I can sit with them anytime I want." Work.

The other residents were just as lovely (there was one scare when someone who was not "all there" took a nail polish remover bottle and almost drank it - I snatched it before she could take a sip) and it really made me get over my fear of the sick and elderly. And when I left those residents were ready for the AARP fall fashion runway. The event was such a hit they asked me to come back on a regular basis. Yay-man!

As I left the home, I was bursting with joy and was overwhelmed with a feeling of well, just good old fashioned happiness. After a lovely afternoon at a friend's family's house (where I got tipsy with his 85 year old grandma - awesome) I went home, did laundry, saw Precious (eh), chatted with mama belle and brother belle on the phone, and went to bed, completely content.

On Sunday I volunteered at a soup kitchen...chile had I known the volunteers go drinking afterwards and watch the Steelers game, I'da volunteered long time ago! Real talk.

Best. Christmas. Ever. Yes, I didn't see my family/old friends, but I still had a fantastic, fulfilling, happy time. From now on I am going to volunteer every holiday season. Especially if I can't go home.

So now Christmas is over and the anti-climactic of all anti-climactic events is upon us: New Year's Eve. Ugh and a half. I was beginning to feel blue as the day slowly approaches...I bought a super cute top/dress just in case I found something to do, but it wasn't looking good. There are parties going on but I have no one to go with as all of my friends in the 'Burgh are either not from here so they are home for the holidays or they will be working (DJ's deejaying, bartenders bartending, etc).

I began to make peace with the fact that I will likely go to work, come home, walk Kingston, and go to bed at 10pm, just like any other day. Boo! Then I remembered one NYE in Philly where I helped out a promoter buddy of mine at the club he was throwing a party at. I was the "guest list girl" and checked people off as they came into the party. It was the best! I still got to dress up, toast at midnight, party til 3, and went home with a couple hundred bucks. That's what I'm talkin' bout! Last year I greeted the new year miserable and out a few hundred bucks and I'll be damned if I repeat that mistake again.

So I asked one of my DJ friends if he knew of anyone/anywhere that needed some guestlist/door help on NYE since I had nothing to do. Turns out he needs help at his two gigs! All of the people who previously said they would assist him were drunk and when they sobered up reneged on their offer. He called me his lifesaver and I am now officially excited for NYE. Not only do I get to dress up and go to two events I wanted to attend anyway, I'll be able to help my buddy and go home with a lil change in my pocket.

And the church said, "Yay-men!"

Kids, this is likely my last post in 2009. I wanted to leave ya with the above stories to let you know that when life gives ya lemons...make lemonade. And add some vodka.

Have a great new years and I'll see you b's in 2010!

Smooches,

KelleBelle