As y'all know, KB can kick it with just about anybody. Growing up in a black household in a white neighborhood and being mistaken for hispanic or asian on the regular, I can pretty much roll with any squad and feel comfy.
But sometimes little things remind me of our differences.
Scenario #1: Diet.
I was at a lovely "young professionals" mixer on Wednesday and as we were noshing on the delectable veggies and dips, I mentioned to one of my kickball teammates (white woman) that I never knew of or ate hummus until I was a junior in college, where it was served at a reception.
She almost fell to the floor. "What?! You never had hummus until college? How is that possible?" After a somewhat awkward pause (on my part) I replied, "I was raised in a black household. We don't eat hummus." She twisted her face, thought about it, and said, "Oh okay, I see." And then we talked about it a bit and she mentioned that as a kid growing up in Detroit she noticed that black Muslims ate hummus, but she can't recall non-Muslim black folks gettin' in on the chickpea game.
She almost fell to the floor. "What?! You never had hummus until college? How is that possible?" After a somewhat awkward pause (on my part) I replied, "I was raised in a black household. We don't eat hummus." She twisted her face, thought about it, and said, "Oh okay, I see." And then we talked about it a bit and she mentioned that as a kid growing up in Detroit she noticed that black Muslims ate hummus, but she can't recall non-Muslim black folks gettin' in on the chickpea game.
Scenario #2: The club.
A friend of mine is in town this week and we went out on Monday night. First stop was a lovely jazz lounge where the crowd was oh say 60% black, 35% white, and 5% other. We had a great time and chatted with practically everyone there, accepted a few numbers (teehee), and listened to some great music.
Then we went to a "club" on the other side of town.
The crowd was about 90% white, 6% other, and 4% black. I counted the number of black folks: me, my girl, and two dudes that clearly were NOT there to talk to black girls. Which is fine, whatever floats your boat (and they were fug anyway). But what wasn't fine was the feeling that I often feel (and my dark chocolate girls feel more often so they tell me) when I go to a predominately white venue: invisibility.
The crowd was about 90% white, 6% other, and 4% black. I counted the number of black folks: me, my girl, and two dudes that clearly were NOT there to talk to black girls. Which is fine, whatever floats your boat (and they were fug anyway). But what wasn't fine was the feeling that I often feel (and my dark chocolate girls feel more often so they tell me) when I go to a predominately white venue: invisibility.
I may get a quick stare or two, but rarely am I approached. Once in a while a brave (read: liquid courage) white soul will try to holler, but I usually have to make eye contact and give the green light to approach as if saying with my eyes, "Don't worry, I'm white-friendly and only mildly offensive." But I've seen my girls really feel awkward and put in a sour mood when they walk into a joint and feel as if no one is even acknowledging their presence. And let's be real: if you're single and go to the club, you're trying to holler or get hollered at. And whether we like it or not the fact is that the majority of people date inside of their race. (KB doesn't discriminate but I do tend to side with men with whom I don't have to explain the necessities of cocoa butter and hair grease.)
My DJ friend is having a big party tonight at a new club but I know what the deal is going to be...invisibility to the nth degree. Instead, my bff and I are going to stick to the plan and go to the lounge again where they are having a more chocolate friendly crowd.
I'd go to the other party and still have fun but I know already that my friend will not, and I want everyone in my squad to be nappy and happy.
Smooches!
KelleBelle
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2 comments:
A)While some white dudes avoid chicks any darker than Lisa Bonet, many think they have an edge and easy in (same with some white guys thinking they can easily steal a white girl from her black boyfriend
B) I really think some of that is from the overt if not proud level of extreme rudeness that far too many black chicks put off at their retail counters (albeit an overall minority of them) to anyone but other black females. Like yesterday when I called in then picked up my Little Caesars order to the meanest little sista in Philly. Guess that's why she's serving Pizza not subpeonas. BAM! I really think that transfers some to the hook up situation though.
C) Any dude of any color who doesn't feel the wonderful gem you are is beneath you anyway.
D) Remember that show Gem
Thanks Anonymous! :)
B) I do find myself acting overly smiley and approachable at clubs, but that's my universal flirt game. Regardless of black/white, I try to exude friendliness and positivity, inviting suitors to come hither.
C) Aw, thank you!
D) Um, hells yeah I remember Gem. Truly Outrageous! I still want those pink "Synergy" earrings.
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