I was very surprised at the reaction I received in response to the quote I had as my Gchat message today:
"I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics." - Frank Zappa
I've never had so many people respond so emphatically: "Word!" - Aaliyah. "Yes! It's so true!" - Jake. " "Here here, love songs are such baloney." - Grace
I think of myself as a positive, glass half-full kind of person. But this Valentine's Day I've really had it with the romanticized myth of "true love" that we are fed from birth.
I've never had so many people respond so emphatically: "Word!" - Aaliyah. "Yes! It's so true!" - Jake. " "Here here, love songs are such baloney." - Grace
I think of myself as a positive, glass half-full kind of person. But this Valentine's Day I've really had it with the romanticized myth of "true love" that we are fed from birth.
If the Chris Brown/Rihanna domestic violence situation didn't remind everyone that Love isn't perfect, let KB break it down for you:
The idea of true love and "happily ever after" is just that: an idea. People attach such pressure and angst around this seemingly simple idea: love. But it isn't simple. Relationships are tough. And I'm not just talking about romantical ;) ones.
Jake mentioned that in addition to "love lyrics" contributing to America's deplorable mental health state is the idea that a person MUST have a father figure in their life to be "normal" or well-adjusted. Not true. In fact, he said, "I wouldn't know the difference if y'all didn't talk about it all the time." I have to agree. And not just regarding fathers, but marriage as well.
If there weren't a zillion and one movies, magazines, books, songs, tv shows, tax benefits, etc. emphasizing the amazingness of marriage I surely wouldn't have it within 10 miles of my "to do" list. The concept of marriage is shoved down our throats since day 1. Even as a young lass, KB always questioned why everyone insisted that everyone else be married, get married, or be in the process of finding someone to marry. What about just being happy and finding people (animals, and/or things) that make you happy?
Now don't get me wrong. I'd love to find someone who gets my Seinfeld/Simpson references, loves fancy hotels and discount tchotchke shops, adores my ability to drink like a fish, inability to dance, and my affection for extensions and abondoned, not-so-cute, sickly mutts. If we have a party where I'm in a white dress (or pink!) and there's a rabbi and black minister repeating some vows, cool. If not, that's cool too.
I have a phenomenal family (we ain't the Huxtables but we ain't the Bundy's eitha), fabulous friends, a great job, amazing doggies, and a home that hugs me when I walk through the door.
Now that sounds like a great idea.
Jake mentioned that in addition to "love lyrics" contributing to America's deplorable mental health state is the idea that a person MUST have a father figure in their life to be "normal" or well-adjusted. Not true. In fact, he said, "I wouldn't know the difference if y'all didn't talk about it all the time." I have to agree. And not just regarding fathers, but marriage as well.
If there weren't a zillion and one movies, magazines, books, songs, tv shows, tax benefits, etc. emphasizing the amazingness of marriage I surely wouldn't have it within 10 miles of my "to do" list. The concept of marriage is shoved down our throats since day 1. Even as a young lass, KB always questioned why everyone insisted that everyone else be married, get married, or be in the process of finding someone to marry. What about just being happy and finding people (animals, and/or things) that make you happy?
Now don't get me wrong. I'd love to find someone who gets my Seinfeld/Simpson references, loves fancy hotels and discount tchotchke shops, adores my ability to drink like a fish, inability to dance, and my affection for extensions and abondoned, not-so-cute, sickly mutts. If we have a party where I'm in a white dress (or pink!) and there's a rabbi and black minister repeating some vows, cool. If not, that's cool too.
I have a phenomenal family (we ain't the Huxtables but we ain't the Bundy's eitha), fabulous friends, a great job, amazing doggies, and a home that hugs me when I walk through the door.
Now that sounds like a great idea.
Happy Valentine's Day y'all.
XOXO,
KB
Posts
19 comments:
While I agree that the main thing is finding someone committed to you, and committed to raising a family with you, regardless of the label on it, I still want to be married for some old fashioned reasons. First, it's a status thing (I'd so rather be wife than baby mama, and that extends to the children's status, although it matters less these days). Second, the mere fact that he was able to stand up in front of everyone and take vows, make a public commitment, and then sign a piece of paper that could lead to his financial ruin at a later day--that says something about how much he wants to build a life with me. Third, I always wanted to have a green and gold wedding!
I hear you Sara2. I think I'm just not super convinced a public declaration of his commitment is as worthy as it sounds. People make public declarations all the time and are full of shizz. Just the other day I told a room full of people that I'd make the Ms. Blewish America 2009 crown proud. All lies.
Meanwhile, I love your wedding theme! Green and Gold for you, Pink and Silver for me. We'd be kick ass AYSO opponents. Our uniforms would be so fierce. Sorry, you know how KB goes on tangents.
Keep reading!
preach! I saw SATC the movie again with a bunch of gals the other day and I am still amazed at how people are like awwww when it comes to Big. "But she loves him." I am like um 10 years of consistently being treated like shit, then stood up at the altar. the man is a billionnaire and the best he can do by way of apology is have his secretary type up some poems somebody else wrote and send to her via email. and then he just happens to be in the closet he paid someone to build her (you know Aidan would have built that shit by hand) and thats it. Viola - its love. Boo. We are sooooo bamboozled. If thats love, leave me out of it. I want sooo much more!
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