The King is Dead

For complete, insightful, witty coverage on Michael Jackson's untimely passing, please visit http://www.whatwouldthembido.com/

I'm now going to focus on some of the taboo subjects surrounding his death, that no one (at least in the media) wants to discuss.

1. Those kids.

Look, I'm a product of the heavenly black and white combination. Those kids are not. They could possibly pass for his kids if he truly looked like he does now, genetically. I know they are doing great shizz with science these days, but I do not think we are at the point where you can genetically mutate a fetus to only take on the (white) mother's genes. There is no way in hells bells those kids have a black father, complete with nappy hair and a wide nose. No way!

2. Diana Ross as fill-in guardian.

I love me some Diana, but is she really the best substitute to take care of his kids in the event that his elder mother cannot fill the role? I believe she has been chillin' with her fabo european husband in paris or rome or somewhere kick-ass, and I have a feeling she is through raising chil'ren. Didn't Evan Ross like flee the coup at age 10? Or mayhaps I made that up.

3. Cause of death.

Similar to Heath Ledger's untimely death, no one wants to talk about what really went down. I'm not saying we should bring up the true cause, especially if it will only serve to shed negative light on his otherwise amazing impact and legacy he will leave, but it could possibly be a very valuable lesson for the masses. As in, do not mix sleeping pills with certain other drugs, etc.

4. Pandora's "Michael Jackson" station

This isn't a taboo subject, but I must make a comment regarding my disappointment with Pandora. Immediately after MJ's death, I created a Michael Jackson station. As you know, to create a station on Pandora you enter the name of an artist, song, or album and Pandora creates a "station" based on the selection and plays music that is similar/related to what you typed in. For example, say you have, oh I don't know, an "NWA" station. Expect to hear some Dre, Cube, etc., in addition to songs from those ninjas with attitude. So, I create the MJ station. The first few songs were by Michael, Earth Wind & Fire, and Stevie Wonder. No surprise there. But Justin Timberlake? Pardon?? They played JT 3 times over a 9 song span! If you're going to throw in biters, might as well add every other pop jerk that stole MJ's moves and sound. Tsk tsk Pandora. You'll be on the business end of a strongly worded email from yours truly very shortly.

5. The BET awards.

Really?

Okay my Pretty Young Thangs...I'm off (the wall)!

Smooches,

KB