What's in Your NQ???

So, I love Netflix. And who doesn't? I was mad late to the Netflix party because it all seemed complicated. It invloved mailing stuff and I thought I would need stamps and I never have stamps and I thought it involved deadlines and I hate deadlines. I just knew it would be a hassle, but turns out it is as easy as the viennese waltz. And, I am getting so good at it. I keep a revolving door of movies in my apartment. I can't manage to do anything else, but I watch my movies and promptly send it back and then in 2 days I get another movie. It is literally mind boggling to me, but I am a simple man.

But, here is the problem. I have pretty awful taste in movies and am generally really bad about looking up movies and reviews of the movies and reading comments, etc. I just read the description and if I like it I queue that badboy up. I probably immediately return about 1 in 5 movies after 10 seconds in the DVD player. That's not an awful percentage, but sometimes disappointing. My ex-biff (tears) would huff and puff and cuss me out for getting movies without reading reviews. However, since he's gone now I have gone caaraaazy with the Netflix picks.

What's on my NQ (Netflix Queue)? It's a list befitting of a 20 something living in Chelsea New York: pretty much all gay movies. For some reason, I am so into gay cinema. Okay, so maybe the reason is obvious, but it is still a bit extreme. I think I am just amazed at how many gay movies there are out there. How come they don't have commercials? I thought the only gay movie ever made was Brokeback Mountain, but turns out there were plenty before and after it. With a gay movie you are guaranteed some good drama and a good and nasty sex scene. Sometimes, even two or three.

But, you know you have bad taste when Netflix recommendations say the following: customer average (rating): 2.3; our best guess for you: 4.5!!! Hey, I am no movie snob!

Anywho, here's a taste of the type of movies I have watched recently:

The Mudge Boy:



Duncan (Emile Hirsch) is a 14-year-old boy who's always been labeled the "weird" one. When Duncan's mother unexpectedly dies, he takes a bizarre interest in her clothing and starts to speak in her voice. His father (Richard Jenkins) doesn't understand his son's conduct, and all the kids poke fun at him. When Duncan befriends a group of older boys by buying them beer, he discovers that one of them, Perry (Tom Guiry), has dark secrets of his own.

This one wasn't bad. It was actually pretty good and I totally recommend it. Weird though.

Get Real:



Steven (Ben Silverstone) is an average student at his middle-class high school, but he's harboring a big secret: He's gay. His only confidant is best friend Linda (Charlotte Brittain) … that is, until he meets John (Brad Gorton), the school's star jock who's seemingly straight and dating a model. The boys stumble through an awkward affair that sends Steven spinning and has John more confused than ever. Based on a play by Patrick Wilde.

I really liked this one too. Not bad.

Gone But Not Forgotten:



Drew (Aaron Orr) is a forest ranger who meets yuppie Mark (Matthew Montgomery) after he falls while rock climbing. Mark wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and sees that Drew has remained by his side since the accident. Drew offers to move in with Mark to help him out until he regains his memory, which propels the two men into a passionate affair. But things start to change as Mark's memory slowly returns. …

Immediately returned it.

A Home at the End of the World:



Pulitzer Prize-winning author (for The Hours) Michael Cunningham's earlier novel about a troika of close friends who enter into an unconventional living arrangement gets deft treatment. Boyhood pals Bobby (Colin Farrell) and Jonathan (Dallas Roberts) both love the same woman (Robin Wright Penn), but in different ways (Jonathan is gay). Undaunted, they all try to make a life together -- and even have a baby -- in 1980s New York.

Helloooo, it has Colin Farrel. A legit actor in a gay movie = good sign.

The 24th Day



Tom (Scott Speedman, from TV's "Felicity") has just found out that he's HIV-positive. A married man who's been living the "straight" life, Tom had sex once, years earlier, with a man named Dan (James Marsden), and now he's on a mission to find him. His plan: kidnap Dan, take a blood sample and see if it comes back positive; if so, he'll kill him. The stage is set for a supreme battle of wills in this drama based on Tony Piccirillo's play.

I super double heart this one.

And next on my NQ???

Eating out 2: Sloppy Seconds



After breaking up with his boyfriend, rebounding college student Kyle (Jim Verraros) turns his attention to Troy, a handsome male model in his art class. Farm boy Troy claims to be straight, but an unconvinced Kyle decides to take him to a campus support group for "reformed" gays to find out the truth. Kyle's silly attempts to prove that Troy is gay lead to a series of confusing hookups and farcical situations.

Can't wait. This is going to be either really good or really bad. Although, it is a sequel...I'll let you know.

What's in your NQ?

KelleBelle Goes for the Gold!

My competition? Scoop! Olympic Style.

There have been a few note-worthy happenings over in Beijing.

1. "The little singing girl must be flawless."

Hats off to the Chinese powers-that-be for subbing a cuter girl to lip synch over a buck toothed child. I don't really see what's the big hub bub. I completely co-sign. Image is everything!

Real talk: that's pretty foul of them to do to the little girl. But she will grow up, move, and make tons of dough singing and producing. The cutey will lose her appeal by age 20.

2. The Spaniards bite the hand that feeds (and hosts) them.


"An advertisement for the Spanish Basketball Federation that appeared in the Spanish daily sports newspaper Marca featured Spain's 15 national team members in uniform pulling back the skin on their eyelids, with smiles on their faces. The team photo was taken at a center court bearing a dragon logo. " (ABC.com)

Not only are they pissing off their Olympic host country, they may need a new supplier of kicks. Li-Ning is the Chinese footwear company sometimes called “the Nike of China,” and is one of the team's biggest sponsors.

3. I told you we can swim!


The U.S. men's 4x100-meter freestyle relay team won Olympic gold...with the help of a black guy! Yes! Cullen Jones is the first African American to participate in an Olympic swim relay final and the second to win gold. Woot!

Random Thoughts with KelleBelle

Did you ever notice...

...that when people on TV and in movies carry groceries it's always a large brown paper bag with some sort of green leaf lettuce and a baguette sticking out? My bag never looks like that. Swap a bottle of vodka for the the bread and a fashion magazine for the lettuce and you'll be close.

...the brides and grooms featured in Jet's wedding announcement section are always graduates of the most far out hbcu ever? Ex: "The groom, a graduate of southeastern missouri of south carolina technical A&G state university said 'I Do' to his bride, a cum laude graduate of east west southern state university orangeburg campus, at Tabernacle Baptist Holy Christ Church in Fayetteville, NC. The couple will honeymoon in Raleigh."*

..how some people are up in arms about a makeup company engaging in the routine practice of (gasp!) altering the image of one of its slangers to comform to the european standard of beauty to which they cater to; but are cool with a white actor literally in black face for an upcoming big budget movie? I'm not co-signing either move. Although, I can't wait to see the flick! But in protest, I'll cop it on the bootleg tip.

Once again, thanks for indulging my random, somewhat shallow, thoughts.

KelleBelle

*I'm not only going to hell for that one, but I'll surely be traded to the J's in the next race draft. Ah well. It was only a matter of time...

KelleBelle Pulls a Judy Winslow on Your Asses

Sorry to simply ignore the sudden absence of my weekly review of "I Love Money." But I lost all motivation to write recaps of the show. It just didn't seem worthy of a KB review. The show was trashy and I'd much rather have my friends read my review than waste time on actually watching it. But it was so bad and more importantly, boring, that it was really not worth it for me to watch and write about.

I am opening the floor to suggestions for a new show to review. Or any other ideas...

-KB

Real Talk: 2008 Presidential Race

Starring Jake and Kelly!

Now that Paris and Rihanna are officially a ticket (thanks a lot John McCain!), you knew J&K would be the next realistic presidential candidates.

Our first order of business? Duh, the war!

The war on fat that is.

Fast food joints will only be open for business during the hours of 2am-5am. You know, "the let-out" hours when folks need to soak up the liquor they consumed in the club before they drive home.

Thus ridding the country of fatties and curbing the number of DUIs. That, ladies and germs, is how you kill two birds with one stone.

Also, all lycra mini dresses in sizes XXL and above will be outlawed. And all primary schools will be outfitted with full-fledged gyms with mandatory exercise and/or dance classes for the kids.

Second order of bid-ness would be to legalize the chief.

Third would be to tackle the mortgage crisis. I would make it mandatory for all law students and lawyers to dedicate at least three hours a week to assist homeowners who are facing foreclosure negotiate with their lenders/banks. All who refuse to cooperate will be given public lashings broadcasted on youtube. What? The 8th amendment will be on vacay that day.

Fourth task - Energy. Now I know for a fact there is a surplus of jheri curl juice out there in somebody's warehouse, just waiting for that style to come back. I'm no scientist but I bet you can burn the juice to fuel a Hummer for days.

And lastly, on Wednesdays everyone must wear Pink!

Now, onto our cabinet.

Secretary of State: Oprah. She'll obviously be the one making the real decisions.

Chief of Staff: I'm gonna have to say Tyra. She's so bossy! Every meeting would be a fashion show complete with judging.

Press Secretary: Wendy Williams! How You Doin' America?

Secretary of the Treasury: John Stewart. Yup, I went the J route!

Secretary of Defense: The Rock. YUM!

Secretary of the Interior (decorating): Jake, I believe we can handle that ourselves.

Attorney General: Star Jones. I feel bad for her!

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Drew. Rehab for everyone!

Jakester, how are you going to contribute?

And I, Jake can be Vice President!! I am such a VP. I am a good team player. I would give pep talks to the Pres and let the other side have it.

I am also perfectly okay with being number 2. It would be like fulfilling my life dream of being in a boy band. I can't sing or dance, but there's always someone in the group that has no talent. Like I can talk in the beginning of songs like Raz B or just be the good looking guy like Nokio or just be there for symmetry like Lance Bass. I can be that guy! I can be a good Farnsworth Bently too, actually better.

And, I can deliver you Georgia with a large gay black turnout thus flipping the map.

Vote for Jake!! Cough Kellebelle and Jake.

It's All About Exposure

Let me cut straight to the chase: I have been in serious love with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson for some time now. I briefly converted to Catholocism a few years ago becuase I felt only a legit Priest could help me gain forgiveness for literally praising the Lord when news broke that Dwayne was divorcing his wife.

We're all family here at the Jake and Kelly show so I'll fess up: My true reason for moving back home to L.A. was to increase my chances of running into Dwayne. KB does not play when it comes to getting her man.

So it was no surprise this morning that I nearly fainted when I read on Bossip.com that Dwayne was spotted in Hawaii yesterday with some floosie from "Rock of Love"!!! What?!!!

I have been ignoring the rumored engagement of Jennifer Hudson and an "I Love New York" contestant (and former law school classmate of mine). Why? Because I refuse to acknowledge the truth: the only way I am going to land The Rock is to sell my soul to VH1.

I'm too tan for Rock of Love, and I'm no switch hitter, so Tila Tequila is out. Listerine makes bleach flavored mouthwash right? Flavor of Love here I come. Forgive me Lord for I am about to sin. And likely contract syphillis of the mouth. The Rock is worth it!

Although, even if I do gain exposure and his attention, I may not be his type. Judging from the ROL floosie and D's ex, I may be too fierce for him. What's with the drab chicks? Has he seen himself? Yum!!!