Hey kids,
I've posted about jump-off etiquette before.* This post is dedicated to the delicate process of when and how to fire a jump-off.
Since moving to Seattle, my jump-off game has left lots to desire. In my few months in the emerald city it has become painstakingly clear that there is a severe shortage of men with balls. I apologize for being crass, but there really is no way to sugar coat the tragic ball shortage up in this piece.
I'm in no hurry to find 'the one', but dang, can a girl get a lil' smooch here and there? I don't think that's asking too much. I was appalled at the behavior of a once stellar jump-off this past weekend.
After having a delightful dinner with my main gays and a straight chum (who suggested the title of this post) on Friday, I decided to hit up said jump-off, as it's been quite some time since KB has had any action. We decided to meet up at a bar nearby my crib at 10pm.
Can you believe this ninja had the nerve to send me a text at 10:10 saying he was "running behind"?!
After having a delightful dinner with my main gays and a straight chum (who suggested the title of this post) on Friday, I decided to hit up said jump-off, as it's been quite some time since KB has had any action. We decided to meet up at a bar nearby my crib at 10pm.
Can you believe this ninja had the nerve to send me a text at 10:10 saying he was "running behind"?!
Even my gays couldn't believe his level of fuckery. How you gon' be late to an ass appointment? I mean really. Anything that is on your plate that could possibly come in betwixt you and the appointment should be pushed to the side and left to post-ass tending to.
I immediately replied to the appalling text as follows: "I am no longer interested in your services. Don't bother coming." And yes, the double entendre was most definitely intended.
Only in Seattle would I need to write this here post. I am officially over the passive-aggressive b.s. the gents in these parts employ on the regular. If you like me, say so. If you have been assigned jump-off status, know your role and act accordingly. If not, you will be taken off the roster post-haste.
Smooches,
KB
*See: "Jumping Off" at http://jakeandkelly.blogspot.com/2007/09/jumping-off.html
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7 comments:
ummm...he was only 10 minutes late. i think u could have given him a pass.
For an actual date, yes. For an ass appointment with a disposable jump-off, nay. It's the harsh reality of the jump-off world.
oh. ok. silly me. i seem to have forgotten the jump off rules.
Yeah mama, you've been out the game a minute! ;)
I'll forward you the latest jump-off guidelines (Rev. 2008).
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