Dream Weaver

Have you ever had a crazy dream about a friend and then ponder for days what it meant? I don't. My most recent dream involved me starting a forest fire in the Washington woods while being haunted with a bone-chilling fear of a bad weave. Real talk: that was my dream on Wednesday. Anywho, my main b had a dream involving yours truly on Thursday night. Take a stab at guessing what it "means" and get ready for some laughs.

elaine: girl, i had the weirdest dream about you and me

me: spill it!

elaine: it seems like you and i were away somewhere together. it looked like some sort of resort that had a humoungous pool that went around the resort. it was weird.

I think la la (elaine's daughter's nick name) was there b/c it was more like a kid's resort. Anyway you and i were walking around the pool. we both had bathing suits on (or so i thought -more on that later.) I had a towel around my waist. Then we get on an elevator and this paralegal from my job is on the elevator as well.

My towel drops and to my and your surprise, I had no bottom piece on.

me:HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT'S GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm trying to see the seinfeld tie. There has to be

elaine: i quickly pull up my towel and the whole time i'm fretting think that alan (paralegal dude) saw my ...uhh...nether regions.

but here's the kicker. he gets off the elevator and i'm mortified. so i say to you, kelly, he didn't see anything right? i pulled up my towel quickly enough right?i was clearly seeking reassurance from you.

But you say,to paraphrase, "yeah, he saw. i saw his eyes pop out of the head. and forget about that, what's up with all that bush you got down there. wtf?"

I look down and i realized how out of control it was. i was sooooo embarrased. let me tell you, in my dream, i was praying that it was a dream. i felt so ashamed and you my dear, were no help at all! but i was ashamed not so much that he saw me but that he saw me with so much hair!

now, WHAT THE EFF DOES THAT DREAM MEAN????!!! when i woke up, i was like, damn, thank god that was a dream

me: GET A WAX! lmao!!!!!!!!!!

elaine: HA HA!

me: this was the funniest thing i have read in ages son. "Nope - he saw everything! eyes literally popped out of his head" hahahahaha totally something i'd say i love it.

guess what? I'm going for my bikini wax tomorrow...not going to a resort though

elaine: are you kidding me???

me: nope i've been trying to schedule one for ages

elaine: that's crazy. maybe i'm clairvoyant

me: right

elaine: ha! so it is YOU that needs the wax

me: my ish ain't out of control though. Actually it kind of is son...there was a tangle situation

elaine: ha!

me: if ish is that long that it has to be combed it's out of control. But i was researching the best spot to go for the wax

elaine: i'm scared of waxes. they hurt too much

me: I don't mind the pain - i actually giggle. guess i'm a masochist

elaine: you giggle? you have issues

me: yup. it tickles. tell me something i dont know. ps: you know this is IMMEDIATELY going on the blog right

elaine: i read something about waxes in oprahs mag. i'm told they are not supposed to double dip the stick in the wax and then use the same wax on someone else. There's the seinfeld tie in

me: double dip! there ya go. There was a locker room scene though on sein...with george i think some kind of towel drop. oh no! with elaine! and terri hatcher

elaine: oh, yeah, they're real and fantastic

me: by the way - this is also totally out of the sex and the city movie

elaine: yeah

me: miranda (you), sam - me

elaine: wax much

me: hahaha re: fantastic

elaine: but i think ur kinda right. i got a facial the other day and then i was reading an article about how mothers put everyone else b4 them. then i was thinking how its been a while since i did any pampering. CJ was ready to ditch me cuz i was in desperate need of manicure. perhaps thats what the dream was about. my need to make myself a priority, to borrow from oprah.

me: yeah i think that you're right