New Year's Revolution Part Deuce

KB, I like the way you think.  I find New Year's resolutions to be silly, but you know I love a good revolution.  The revolution will be blogged!

1.  On behalf of 2008, I want to apologize to all years between 2000 and 2004.  Seriously.  I have been engaged in nothing but fuckery for the past year or so and it's time for that ish to stop.  I used to be an ambitious, goal-oriented, super-serious kind of guy.  I was Tracy Flick before she became Elle Woods and while Elle is fun, it's time to locate my inner Flick (and outer Flick, but that's a different post entirely).  I have really met all my goals.  It's great, but it is depressing too because I've lost my drive.  I am not really working towards anything anymore, which pretty much sucks.  I don't really know what my new goal will be, but I need it quick.  I was considering making partner by the time I am 30, but that is so Elle Woods.  Uggers.

2.  It's adult time.  I think I have been stuck in a time warp for the past several years.  I am 27 and don't really feel any different than I did when I was like 20.  I dress the same, act the same (for the most part), look the same, etc.  How could that be!?  I think I have to start acting my age.  I am not exactly sure what that means, but it definitely requires change.  As a start, I moved out of my studio into a big boy apartment, I am no longer watching MTV,  no more ironic t-shirts, more shoes and less sneakers, and more big words.  Oh, and I am going to learn to budget and save better.  That's all some serious adult shit.

3.  I am going on more dates.  It's time to get back in the game and give the boys what they want.  Or, at least get this boy what he needs.  I think I want to spend time getting to know people and this time I am going to mean it.  No, seriously.  I am going to have long walks, talks, and dinners with interesting and gorgeous men.  I am going to ask questions and I am going to ponder the answers and I am not going argue, debate or judge.  I was never allowed to be around grown folk talk, so this might be hard.

4.  Frienemies are sooo high school.  I am getting rid of them.  You are either my friend or my enemy.  You can't be both and you can't be neither.   I like a good frienemy.  Why?  They are a good release for all my saved up cuntiness.  What makes a frienemy unique is that they are someone you don't like but find yourself around a lot (and don't have to be nice to for some other reason like work, church, etc.).  But, you can't be too mean because then they will stop coming around.  It's a delicate balance.  It's waay too complicated for a grown ass man with grown man problems and grown man things to do, so I am done with it.

5.  I am going to embrace the more conservative/republican side of me.  And no, that does not mean I am becoming a bottom.  I think it is now cool to be a Republican- it's the new Scientology.  Politics like life is all economics:  buy low, sell high.

6.  I am going to eat more healthy and get focused on my fitness.  Before my body starts breaking down or my metabolism breaks or something.  

7.  I am going to explore more and learn new things and go new places.  It's time to be worldly.  And wise.  Worldly and wise.

8.  I am going to do something(s) to make the world a better place.  Grown folk can change the world and they do because they have a stake in it.  I feel like 27 years into this world is a helluva investment and so I want to see it through.

9.  In general I am going to stop acting like a teenage girl.

10.  I think I am going to cuss some people out some more.  I am a pretty calm guy.  I get angry much, don't yell, don't cuss, don't create to much controversy.  Shit is exhausting.  You can't have a revolution without some anger and maybe even a lil bit of violence.  Beware.