A friend of mine posted an interesting message on her Gchat status window:
"Ladies, have you ever told a friend some exciting news in your career or personal (spiritual, health) development and get a lukewarm "yeah, thats cool" but then if you so much as whisper the possibility of a new guy to said friend, they go orgasmic and start conjuring the wedding? Is this just my friend, me, a really disturbing problem, or the reality of being a woman?"
I responded to her message that I have a few friends that react similarly to man news versus non-man news. Check out our chat below and post a comment on your reaction to her message. Please and thank you. :)
me: boo on your friend. that's lame. i have a friend or three like that. it'll be like this:
Me: "I passed the bar"
Them: "Yay. Congrats."
Me: "I started seeing someone."
Them: "OMG!!! YAYYYYYY Does he have any friends?"
me: boo
Dorothy: i know, i feel like my law school friends particularly, are obessed with finding a man/relationships
i mean hey, i like to talk about dudes too, but damn, just a little balance please
cause when you are constantly talking like that i just feels like it creates so much desperation and negativity
me: exactly i'm 100% with ya
Dorothy: lots of interesting thoughts coming out of my status lol
Dorothy: why do you think some girls react in that way?
me: father issues
Dorothy: im now going to collect all the comments lol
me: want me to post a blog about it?
Dorothy: oh you totally should
My friend then sent me a collection of comments she received from friends in response to her message. Here are a few highlights:
Dorothy: yeah, its like come on gals, dont we have more going on in our lives??!!!
friend1: truth is many of them do, but it's a slow process to take your little girl dreams of a white dress and knight in shining armor and accept the fact that other things - like great family and platonic relationships, relationship with self, career, hobbies - can be fulfilling also; some just haven'tgotten there yet
________________________________________
Dorothy: but why isnt my career, or my health, or my relationship with God intimate?
friend 2: b/c it's not about sex or the possibility of sex
Dorothy: well that's unfortunate, women have much more to offer than sex
friend 2: sad, but true. i dont think this is a women-specific thing. i think we all have more to offer than sex, but sex remains an interesting subject
Them: "Yay. Congrats."
Me: "I started seeing someone."
Them: "OMG!!! YAYYYYYY Does he have any friends?"
me: boo
Dorothy: i know, i feel like my law school friends particularly, are obessed with finding a man/relationships
i mean hey, i like to talk about dudes too, but damn, just a little balance please
cause when you are constantly talking like that i just feels like it creates so much desperation and negativity
me: exactly i'm 100% with ya
Dorothy: lots of interesting thoughts coming out of my status lol
Dorothy: why do you think some girls react in that way?
me: father issues
Dorothy: im now going to collect all the comments lol
me: want me to post a blog about it?
Dorothy: oh you totally should
My friend then sent me a collection of comments she received from friends in response to her message. Here are a few highlights:
Dorothy: yeah, its like come on gals, dont we have more going on in our lives??!!!
friend1: truth is many of them do, but it's a slow process to take your little girl dreams of a white dress and knight in shining armor and accept the fact that other things - like great family and platonic relationships, relationship with self, career, hobbies - can be fulfilling also; some just haven'tgotten there yet
________________________________________
Dorothy: but why isnt my career, or my health, or my relationship with God intimate?
friend 2: b/c it's not about sex or the possibility of sex
Dorothy: well that's unfortunate, women have much more to offer than sex
friend 2: sad, but true. i dont think this is a women-specific thing. i think we all have more to offer than sex, but sex remains an interesting subject
_________________________________________
Dorothy: i mean that some women are ok with being single - that doesnt mean they dont want to get married or wont be happy to meet a nice man - but that they are relatively content and may be getting happiness from other things. so when you then tell your friends omg x,y,z, that is not relationship related has happened to me or for me or some goal you have achieved and they react to that like oh yeah whatever, i think its just dissappointing. like your friends should be happy for you whatever it is your happy about.
why do some women only respond positively when it involves a man?
Friend3: yeah i mean theres no nice way to put it. thats exactly what happens. i was talking to my line sister. no one in our line is married or engaged and the line b4 us like over 1/2 of them r either already married or engaged, and i was like they are tighter than us and my friend was like girl people r on our line who r doctors lawyers etc and i was like i dont care we r single. no one wants us:(
why do some women only respond positively when it involves a man?
Friend3: yeah i mean theres no nice way to put it. thats exactly what happens. i was talking to my line sister. no one in our line is married or engaged and the line b4 us like over 1/2 of them r either already married or engaged, and i was like they are tighter than us and my friend was like girl people r on our line who r doctors lawyers etc and i was like i dont care we r single. no one wants us:(
Dorothy: booooo. that's horrible. no seriously.
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Dorothy: yeah, i guess women are interested in different things
Friend4: yeah... the only problem with the wedding day dream is a wedding only lasts for a few hours. and then what?
Friend4: yeah... the only problem with the wedding day dream is a wedding only lasts for a few hours. and then what?
Posts
2 comments:
I think you guys are being too hard on your friends. Let's be real about this. What can't we do as the beautiful, intelligent, gainfully employed (thank you Jesus), wonderful women that we are? Sky's the limit. We graduate from esteemed colleges and universities, pass bar exams, start non-profits, host fun parties and gatherings, and so on and on. The one thing many of those same wonderful women seemingly can't do is become a partner in a healthy relationship. So yes folks get pumped when one of their fabulous sista-friends meets a guy. And real talk, these fabulous women are the same ones mentioning and noting the hardship of "finding a man" and then when one of ya'll heifers mention you met someone you want us to remain muted. Duly noted. I'm just going to keep focused on lasting yet another day in Fargo. :)
I don't think its about getting pumped when chick meets a dude. Its about the not getting pumped at the other things. So what if sky is the limit? - I still want to be appreciated and congratulated by my friends for my work. I want you to be excited for me and for the things I am doing. I want you to share in my excitement about the things that get me excited. Isn't that what friends do? So yeah if I meet a dude, that's fab, but that's not the only thing happening. And really, because of the "hardships" that these women may be mentioning re potential partners, they might need a little extra support on the other things happening in their lives to remind them that life is still good, even while single. And living in Fargo ;)
Post a Comment