Thin Line!!

KB, what's really good!? What's been up with you and what's up with thin line? I have two weeks of confusion built up so I am just gone let it out...

Love

I am going to have to switch it up on you KB and confess that I love my new boy. Okay, so I don't love him, but I love the idea of him. I do like him a lot though. He's super good to me, hot, and kinda gets me. I love it. Oh, and he is hilarious. Oh, and all my friends love him. We can talk or not talk for hours. I guess that's why I ain't been running around here blogging and ish. But, I'm back bitches. The bitch is back!!!

Jake, get out of my head please. We are so on the same wavelength! I bet we get our monthlies at the same time too we are so in sync. Chile, I'm loving the idea of my boy too! Were you fighting your likeness? I know I was. But damnit I am in like. And loving it! Meanwhile, have you been getting hit on incessantly and ex-paramours have been sniffin 'round? They must dig the content vibe I'm giving. Or the 5lbs I've recently lost. Either way, I'm in like! That's why I've been nan-where round these blogging parts...oh that and party planning and my indentured servitude day job. But the parties are over, my job is getting a bit more manageable so you know what that means right? The bitches is back son! And they said, "Yay-men!"

Hate

This is no news flash and I feel really guilty about saying this, but I am not a big fan of fat people who be going to the club, taking up all my space and breathing all the thin man's air. I mean, I guess it's okay to be big on your own, but not so much in a crowded club. There I said it. It really bothers me. And you know who is always the one dancing the hardest? The fat boy. There he is working up a sweat, which of course only invites the question of why don't you dance like this more often...in your living room, like the people on youtube? They really make me uncomfortable. And when they exhaust themselves from all the dancing you know what they do? They come and stand right next to me. Boo!

Jake, oh Jake. I'mma say a prayer for you, and J.Lo too. But mostly for you. Don't be a fat-ist! I'm not a fan of anyone - thin or plump - dancing all extra up in a crowded club, getting sweat on me and throwing bows, etc. But, as long as they are dressed nicely and do not have stank breath, get it in! You looking down on the fatties dancing exuberantly is just part of the problem. You see a rude, disgusting, annoying display of girth, I see calories burning and fun being had by all. Supa-man dat what?

Hate to love

Jake, this may shock some peeps, but I Hate that I Love Jews*. Okay not Jews generally, but Judaism in particular. Or Jewish weddings if you want to get specific. Okay, liberal, eclectic Jewish weddings officiated by a lesbian Rabbi. Yes! You know KB is half J right? Chile, I love me some Jewish traditions! I may have to get a late pass Batmitzvah before I get married just so I can break the glass - after jumping the broom. Mazel-Tov!

I hate that I love sobriety. It has now been two days since I last smoked or drank anything. Snaps for the kid. I had been on something for so long that I had forgotten what it was like. In fact, I think I am on a sobriety trip right now. It's like woooooow, this is weird. Why is my brain moving so quickly? What are these emotions I am feeling? For real? I had forgotten what anger was like. It's a high of it's own. Real talk. I kinda like myself. But it's early.

*Real Talk: Before the ADL shuts this bitch down, let me explain why this is not in the Love category. I'm half J but was never accepted by the J's in my hood growing up, or anywhere really. So I'm a bit salty about loving the traditions and the people...b/c I do so from afar! Let me in dammit! Let me in! Chile, you done got me all phe-clempt! Now excuse me while I drown my sorrows in fried chicken and matzo ball soup...and a soda on the side!