The Bitch is Back. Oh, the Bitch is Back!

Well, now that the writers strike is over I guess it's time for Jake to get back to work. Me and Kelly are in a fight because she crossed the picket line. Heifer. But, back to our regularly scheduled programming. How do we pick up where we last left off?

It's always good to talk Reality TV, right? Well, am I the only one who thinks that Amidol, ANTM and Project Runway are better than evers? True story.

Amidol decided to let the gays play this season even one's with purple streaks and a neck that won't quit. They also went back and got some people they rejected last time for dumb reasons. And they are letting bitches use instruments. Good job guys. These bitches are giving me everything! David Archuletta? Fierce. I am sick of the catty flirtation between Cowell and Seacrest (why hasn't he been replaced yet? I'll take Mario Lopez). And, Paula be fuuucked up on the show. Paula will say some crazy shit like: I love you because you remind me of rainbows and kuala bears. I wish I could carry you around underneath my bangs and kiss you on sunday mornings. God...I LOVE HER!!! She fills the void left by Being Bobby Brown. Whitney, I miss you!

Project Runway. See the finale? It gave me everything! Look for me in that lil feather number that Christian showed in a drag show near you as soon as I have it taken in a bit. I don't know how they decided this season because they were all so great. Unlike previous seasons when we had to decide who we hated least. Kudos to them. Now, I hope we don't have to wait a year for another season. Only criticism is that I wasn't feeling Tim Gunn's "Make it Work." I think he was over it. Sometimes he would be done but realize he hadn't said it and then he would go back and mumble...oh, and make it work. Sweetie, each Make it Work should be as good as the last. Just as a hookers blowjob should be as good as the first. Now, TG: Make it Work...BETTER.

ANTM. I've said it once and I'll say it again: it matters not not the girls get uglier each season. Give me Tyra, Ms. Jay, and skinny bitches chasing a dream and I am a happy gay. They are uglier than ever this season, but I do like the new judge. Was sooo over Ms. Twiggy. I am glad Tv has realized that Brits don't make everything more interesting. Sheesh. And let's face it: Tyra is the show. She gives me giggles for days. All that being said...even makeovers couldn't salvage these boogers. Bless they hearts.

That's really all the reality TV I watch. They are essentially the Gay classics. Although, I sometimes watch Making the Band. What a snooze. Diddy thinks there can be a show without Laurie Ann!? No ma'am. Either dance, fight or go home. Over that show.

Loooooooove,

Jake.

P.S. Call me!