Jake's Favorite Thing

is clearly Oprah's favorite things. It's not the things themselves, but the show dedicated to Oprah's favorite things. I have experienced some great things in my live and have witnessed some great things. However, nothing makes me happier than watching people react to Oprah's favorite thing show.

Bless her heart because she always surprises them and they immediately scream, jump, cry, and thank Jesus. The celebration is bigger than a Chad Johnson touchdown, a Red Sox World Series, or a Hillary Clinton primary win. These people go crazy! I get nervous just watching. I get nervous and a bit embarrassed for these people. I just want to say "pull yourself together Blanche!" They are so happy that I feel happy and all Oprah is doing for me is running up my light bill.

Seriously though, the biggest and baddest and most awesome punk'd ever would be if Oprah announced it was her favorite thing show and then say sike!!!

And meanwhile, why is Oprah eating turkey burgers? Here I am fasting at a size 2 and she's running around the country eating fancy turkey burgers. And wearing a mumu. Must be nice.

Tell me you don't love it?

Meanwhile, while Oprah is giving stuff

away Tyra is taping her show literally a block away from me and won't give me tickets. She best not let me catch her on the streets. That's trill.

P.S. I wonder if Oprah still prefers to get her hope in a jar or in an Obama?