I'm Coming Out

No, not of anybody's closet either, but kinda. Anyone who knows me knows that I suffer from AD (Acronyms Disease) because I have RLS, IBS, ADD, OCD, TB, REM. You know the works, except for the big diseases with the little name. Anyhoo, amongst my many ailments is SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Me and the winter just don't get along. I am a tropical peoples and so when it's cold outside I am like a fish out of water. I become mean, boring, and ugly. But I, button, am none of those things in real life. I am feeling very pink, yet lavender.

This past winter was a particularly rough one, and so I have swung back in the other direction and I can't handle it. I think I had all this repressed gayness and general ridiculousness that is bursting out. Do you know what it feels like to wanna go outside, but can't? To wanna sing and have it beat outcha? Well, summertime is here and things gone be changing.

I have been oozing with gayness the past few days. I have defrosted. Gone is the frigid bitch and back is the Jake. You know, the Jake you all love, hate, love to hate, hate to love, but still stick around because...well I don't know why really. I can hardly deal with myself really, which is why I stay intoxicated, but I digress.

It's too much. I have become an infinigay (infinitely gay: in, around and throughout). It's like I have a hormonal imbalance or something and I swear I am one sunny day away from a sun dress. I kid you (but I don't). I mean I am already rocking the murse that I bought in October, but haven't had the balls to carry. Now, not only do I carry it, I carry it in the most gayest way possible. Sometimes, just for the effect. It's like a lil tote. One could grab the handle with his hands or one can slide it down his arm and let it hang therefrom with forearm bent upwards or outwards. Eitherwhichway, it's gay, gay, gay.

I think I'll be back to normal soon. Normal me is playfully gay, but butch around the edges. Giggles. I can use the stability that's for sure.