Picture it: you're at the club dancing your lil heart out (or posting up on the wall like I usually do), and a sweaty, greasy dude grabs you by the arm and presses his sweaty lips to your ear and rattles off some lame game on you. Upon seeing the creature's face you immediately grab your arm back and wrestle your way out of the Shrek look-a-like's hold. What does he do? Cusses you out!
Yes, chile. This has happened to me numerous times. Usually the rejected soul goes off on how I am stuck up, conceited, or just a plain B. Well, you know what? I object! I am tired of being penalized for not indulging a woo-er's advances if I am not attracted to them. I am always polite, but no, I will not give out my number if I am not interested in seeing you again. How is this being a b? I think it would be more jerky if I actually gave the digits out of pity and wasted both dude's time and my own.
You know what I really wish I could say to these dudes Jake? I'll tell you. I wish I had the lady balls to say, "Dude, seriously, how many couples that look like us do you see walking around?" I know, it's horribly mean. But come on! Be realistic people! I couldn't care less if you're sweet. You're fug too! Sorry, but not my problem. I'm into sweet and cute guys. Is that asking too much? I don't think so.
And it's not like I get the attention of every guy I think is cute. But I don't get mad and call the dude I'm drooling after "conceited" or a J. He's just not interested. Next!
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5 comments:
BAHAHA!! YES!
And even worse is the fact that for that split second when an ug-mug talks to yoy, you believe you may also be ugly, throwing off the whole evening. Therein lies the true rub.
Girl, I really and truly feel you . . . except for the part when you bow out gracefully when a cute guy isn't feeling you. I know this is wack but I assume he's either deluded or exclusively interested in men. Now, I do not go all nuts and harass him like the fugs do to us but I do think to myself "what's up with that guy? 'cause I know I'm cute . . ."
I have gotten that. When a chick is in to me and I am not into her, which let's face it is all chicks all the time (excpet for about 3 in my lifetime), she accuses me of being gay! Gasp! My response? Gay I may be, but you are still fat. And before I see boy/girl I see fat/skinny. Sincerely, Jake.
Oh, and I am not talking about you. I am talking about the many big girls that have sought me out in my lifetime. I am afterall, delicious!
Jake do you know I am so vain that I had to upload a picture to my blogger profile just to assure the public that you were not talking about me?! Real talk.
I guess that makes two of us Kels . . .
picture notwithstanding, I do feel you Jake ;)
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