Tragic Mulattos, Tyra Style

Leave it to Tyra to bring back the Paper Bag Test.

My friend Derrick went to a taping of the Tyra show today. The topic: "Do light skinned blacks have an advantage over dark skinned blacks." His ex-gf was on the show as one of the light skinned chicks that gets mistaken for white. Or some fuckery like that. The show sounds crazy. I'm usually not a Tyra talk show watcher, but obvs, this is right up my light skinned alley. I can't wait to see it! (Airing late March/early April)

Here's the scoop directly from Derrick:

So, the Tyra show was wild. There were only 3 guys in the audience. In fact, it was so good, Tyra said afterwards they may do a part 2.

They seated us by skin color. Light skinned up top. Dark lower down. Brown on the other side. They passed out paper bags to everyone.

She started with 5 women on stage from chocolate to white. The whitest one was my ex Lisa. No one believed she was black. So all the women talked about their experience and what people called them. Damn, y'all women are cold. The light women were saying that dark women disliked them almost immediately, assuming they were stuck up.

Then they had 5 different women come out and tell their story...one of them, a light skinned woman, was saying she did have advantages. Her dark skinned sister was in the audience. She was much darker (same mother different father) and she was saying how she resented all the favoritism her family showed the lighter sister (who was a model previously and now doing her PhD at an ivy league school). The lighter sister didn't know she felt that way. Tears all around later.

One light skinned sister on stage said she didn't like dark skinned women....said she was so much better looking and dark skinned sisters hated her cuz she had good long hair. The audience booed. Then she said she wouldn't let her son (12 years old) date a dark sister. The joint went crazy! Tyra went off on the light skinned sister who said she wouldn't let her son date some "darkie". Hell, she said "they ('darkies') were just jealous of her long hair and fine features...cuz I ain't got a big nose and fat lips." Oh, did i mention her son was sitting right next to her? He was like, "moms is wrong...I like all women."

Then there were 2 brothers who came out. One just liked light women (he was light). The other liked dark sisters. He was darker. The brother who just liked light skinned women got booed. The brother who said he like dark skinned sisters got cheered until tyra asked him why. His answer...wait for it...wait...

"Dark skinned sisters are easier to get with."

The cheers kinda died out at that point. We are some fucked up people.

Oh shit, I almost forgot, they had 5 models up there. From dark to light. I recognized one as a plus sized model from ANTM. Chocolate sister with big eyes. yum. Anyway, she was saying that being dark wasn't a disadvantage as a plus size model for her in the states, but for the skinny models, it was.

There was one that looked straight up white, and she said, yeah, being light was an advantage and other one said that she found herself overcompensating, using more slang or whatever to make it clear she was black. Tho she said that usually black people could tell...only white people were surprised.

And at the end, we all held up these brown paper bags they'd given us...crumpled them up and threw them away. The entire front row threw them at the crazy chick who forbade her son from dating "darkies."

I couldn't make this shit up if you paid me.