Mean, Mean Girls!!!

KB, I know you saw last night's ANTM Season 9 premiere, right? Tyra has delivered us 8 seasons already and let's face it, she could give me 8 more and I would still watch because it never gets old. Has anyone realized how great that show and more importantly how great that Tyra is?

People sure do love to hate on Tyra and have been doing just that for years now, but she really has found a winning formula with this show and all you bitches stay watching it. I heart this ish. 13 skinny and insecure bitches in one house competing to be a "top" model? C'mon! And these chicks is serious. Every since that one lesbian chick declared this to be a "competition" things have not been the same. I mean, these chicks are waiting for you to collapse so they can take a picture over your lifeless body and then show it to Tyra with a note that says she collapsed because she's anorexic. How can you not watch that? Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass? They are all potential lions and potential wart hogs.

I know I am impressed by how much of a story Tyra has managed to tell over the past so many years. If you have missed it, here are the themes of Top Model:

1. We lash out at others because we, ourselves, are hurting.

2. Pretty girls have mad issues.

3. Beauty is debatable.

4. You don't know what Tyra has been through.

5. Tyra will always take a better picture than you.

6. Fat girls need love too, and if you are twice as fat, you need 4xs as much personality.

7. You have to be more than a pretty face to be a model.

8. Miss Jay will alwqays walk better than you, and possibly look better than you in a dress.

9. If you have a disease, you have a shot.

10. This is a competition.

It's true, those are the 10 lessons we have learned over 8.1 seasons of top model. Tyra gives you drama, comedy, and suspense all in one hour and one season. She makes you cry, she makes you laugh, and sometimes...she makes you sick. I know one thing, chick is making UPN some money.

Despite these lessons, ANTM seems to bring out the ugly in the contestants and in my nannies. The nannies will rip you apart. They haven't seen a pretty girl on Top Model since Eva the Diva and can't get past Tyra's wig and hairline. Isn't that the beauty of the show? Calling someone fat makes us feel thinner. Calling someone stupid makes us feel smarter. Calling somone ugly makes us feel pretty. And, watching skinny bitches be mean to each other makes us feel happy.

I watched last night's show, but I think it is premature to offer any predictions before the makeovers. But, my pre-makeover pick: Mila!



Jake, I am disappointed with your pick. There's no way that fake ass happy-go lucky self is going to win. As soon as she said "There's no point in crying, I've had a wonderful life so I celebrate anything" the first thing that came to my mind was: cokehead! Tyra brought that child on the show just to break her down. And break down she will. My prediction: she'll be ousted after saying some racial slur to one of the ethnics. Maybe even to one of the Jays. The Autistic girl already made the J's uncomfortable with her "Pretty Lady" comment. So race is next. My money is on Mila's family tree having lots of white capes and pointed hats.

Moving on, my pick is the cute as a button "bikini dancer" Lisa. She is a much softer, warmer, prettier Jade. Sans the mixed-breed identity issues.



My runner up is the chick from Yale - Victoria (I cannot wait until they lighten her eyebrows. They look like two caterpillers chillin' on her forehead right now), followed by the Rih-Rih/Nivea lookalike - Saleisha.

My biggest problem of the show - wait, I had two big problems. 1. The "real size" model. B please. That ho was just lazy. If she'd watch her diet a tad and hit the gym, like, once a week she'd be in model form. They was talkin 'bout her being too "thin" to be a plus size model but too big to be a "regular" model. Um, why the eff is she here again? Go to grad school like the rest of us normies. Fool.

My second qualm with the show was Tyra the talk show host. Why did she make that poor afro-mohawked girl divulge her most deepest and darkest secret: that she was raped and molested as a child, and then she doesn't make it in the house!? Ps: eff her sad story, her body was SICK and her cheek bones were out of this world! Tyra, leave that ish for your talk show! This is real.

My favorite Mean girl move of Tyra's last night was her cutting the black (maybe Pacific islander) girl at the first round. Why? Listen closely kiddies: if you are in front of Tyra, HBIC of the Wig Crypt, do NOT boast that your best feature is your luxuriously lengthy hair! Duh!

Wait - a minute - stop the presses! Jake did you notice the random girls in certain scenes (and the last elimination) that we were never introduced to?!!! There were many a time when me and my watching party were like, wait, who is that girl?! She's cute! Clearly, they failed the background check and the ish only came up post taping of the first episode. If you didn't catch the mystery girls, look out for them tonight when you watch the premiere again...for the third time. Don't act like I'm lyin'!
-KB

BREAKING NEWS...

I am gay, but not that gay. I am a firm believer that everything and everyone should be gay, but I am still not that gay. This weekend, I had a funny joke go too far. It is funny for the gay guy to be the bride’s maid or attend the bachelorette party, but it shouldn’t actually happen. This weekend I had to go to one such bachelorette party. I did it because I made a promise to a friend, but I really should have nipped that in the bud when I got the evite. Instead I giggled and ignored it. I should have spoken up when I received an email urging me to RSVP. Instead I just giggled and RSVP'd. I possibly had a shot when I got the reminder voicemail on the day of the event. Instead I sat there in agony about what to do now. I am gay, but not so gay that I want a pink feather boa put around my neck and then taught how to deliver a strip tease. However, I am gay enough to participate once I am there. All it takes is a few bowls, a few drinks, and the pussycat dolls.

Similarly, I am gay enough to tell women what looks good, but I don’t know sizes, labels, or the names of anything. Alls I know is delicious and eww. I don’t know colors, patterns, or cuts. I will go jean shopping with you, but don’t expect a wealth of knowledge from me. Actually, I am done shopping with you bitches. It’s funny, isn’t it? Take the gay guy shopping, but my closest friends have already learned that I am not the gay for that.

I am also not really the gay to help plan your wedding. Actual or imaginary. I am the gay that will play Jennifer Lopez in Wedding Planner and wear headphones while bossing people around at your wedding, and have offered such many times. Please let me be that gay. Otherwise, I don’t know anything about weddings. I know the following: Vera Wang, old, new, borrowed, blue, and open bar. I am there to be supportive, but I don’t really get it. I love you, and I am excited, but I don’t get it.

Oh, and I don’t get babies either. I know that the baby is born, but I won’t know the gender, weight, name, or babby’s daddy. I am not that gay. I am gay enough to child proof my apartment and babysit of course. But really, I don’t get it.

And don’t get upset when I tell you I am watching the game. I am not moving and that’s that. I am not watching because I am bored. I watch Mean Girls when I am bored. I watch the game because it is what I have planned to do. Please do not think that you are rescuing me from anything, you are only getting on my nerves. Leave me alone! Especially, you gays.

I am much more gayer in theory than in practice. In practice, the only thing that’s gay about me is my love of Britney Spears, making tea, and men. Everything else is a joke; for shits and giggles. Although, lately it’s been giving me more shits than giggles.

I hope this doesn’t anger my nannies, or those who haven’t figured it out yet. Love you guys, but I am not that gay. Call me!

The Nerve!

My my, Jake and I have had quite the week...and it's only Tuesday! Jake, my story isn't as scary and nightmare-inducing as your experience on the way into work, but it is noteworthy nonetheless.

Picture it: Philadelphia, this morning. I am walking Kingston down my block for our usual morning stroll. As you know, Kingston is an adopted child, much like Zahara, Pax, or Maddox Jolie-Pitt. Unlike those children, Kingston was not handpicked from an orphanage and chosen because he was the cutest out of all the other ethnic orphans. Kingston was rescued from the streets of West Philly. And he looked like it. Although he has a heart of gold, he is fur-challenged. Despite repeated consultations and treatments from the Hair Center for Dogs, he has yet to grow a full coat. Everyone in our neighborhood knows this and still roots for his coat to someday be full and luxurious like his mama's. But let me get back to this morning.

Chile, wouldn't you know a couple of SHE-MALES walked by us and one of them had the nerve to point at Kingston and yell at the top of his/her lungs: "What is THAT?!" Kingston shed a tear in embarrassment and sorrow (or he would have if he could). I looked straight at the he/she and said, "It's a Dog! What are you?!" Okay, I only said the first part. But I really wanted to say the second. Can you believe the nerve?! How you gon' be a she-male (not that I have a problem with it) and call someone's dog out like they are some freak show?



This was worse then the time when a Bald man laughed at Kingston for being a bald dog....before heading home to his glass house where he proceeded to throw stones.

The nerve of some people!

Picture It!!!

You know I love nothing more than to tell a good ole fashioned story. But I must warn you this one is a horror story! Picture it: New york 2007.

I am minding my own business, as I am known to do. I am taking the train to work, a task that causes me great anxiety. I exit the train to go up the escalator and since it is not working I have to walk up. I am listening to my ipod, something Britney I am sure, and consequently not paying attention. I ended up going up behind a very LARGE man. He is so large that he is spilling over his shoes. He is so large that I spent the majority of the rest of the day trying to figure out how he gets his clothes. More importantly, he is so large that I am fearing for my life as I go up the stairs behind him. For, if he loses his balance and falls back, I am DONE! And, there's nothing I can do about it. There's no passing lane so I can't move ahead of him. There are a bunch of people behind me so I can't go back down. Moving two, three, or four people behind him probably won't do any good. I am stizuck, and scizared. My heart was pounding, my brain was racing, my eyes were focused. I was trying to come up with exotic escape scenerios, but I can't jump like Jackie Chan and will never be as lucky as Will Smith in any of his movies. I was at his mercy.

Whilst coming up with all the scenarios, I realized damn that. What if he farts! Because his ass is surely in my face, and again I can't go nowhere, or anywhere rather. Of course when you see someone fat you think all they do is fart all day, so I am scared...almost shitless. Biggest fear of them all is that he begins to wobble and in the process of trying to keep his balance he farts and I am left to smell and watch him fall on me. Yikes!

Fortunately for me, he wobbled his way to the top is his unstable shoes. I got to the top, and breathed a sigh of relief and quickly ran past him to ensure that I am never behind him again. Lesson: always pay attention!

Your Weekly Dose...

It's Monday, and you know what that means don't you? That's right, it's a thin effing line!

Love

KB:

Brunettes. After a brief summer fling with blond highlights, I went dark again -- this time chocolate brown with some deep honey brown medium-lights. YUM. I feel more refined, graceful, and classy. And I'm pretty sure I look thinner. Kind of like Katie Holmes or Anne Hathaway...sans the whiteness.

Jake:

Good for you KB! I love anything that makes me look thinner too. You know what else I love? Kelly Rippa. I know it's random, but I swear I cannot leave my house in the morning without my daily dose of Kelly. She's hot and she's hilarious. I enjoy her energy. She makes me feel thinner. Oh, and her husband is hot too.

Hate

KB:

Broke-ass ni**as. Yup, I said it. And you can be any race or gender...And be a broke ass ni**a. Look, we've all - or most of us - been there. You got 25 bucks in your checking account, no savings to speak of, and your rent is late. For most of us, this was a phase called college. Or maybe a month or two during grad school. It happens. This does not make one a broke-ass ni**a. You learn from your mistakes, you grow the eff up, and balance your lifestyle and budget [as best as you can]. But if you are grown [damn near knocking on 40], and are constantly broke, I should not be seeing you out at events and at the club/bar when you know you should be at home sippin' on a PBR surfing the web via your neighbor's wireless internet connection. Why did you spend your entire paycheck on friday night trying to keep up with the Jones' and order 5 glasses of courveausior? While I was sipping on well vodka and enjoying the complimentary peanuts. It may not be fab, but it's real.

Jake:

Yikes! You need a hug darling? Perhaps help with designing a better screening process? That's exactly why I don't do the arts. Those fuckers is always broke. Hot, but broke. You know what I hate? Shopping! This weekend I had to go infuse my fall wardrobe with some new things and boy was I over it almost immediately. I feel like I've shopped all my life and have no more in me. I have lost all interest in fashion and have become less vain over time. I used to put the effort in, but now I just ask myself...do I look crazy? If it passes the crazy test I am out the door. But that don't stop me from talking about everyoine else. It's true. I have some damn nerve.

Hate to Love

KB:

Dudes. This seems to be a recurring theme of our posts Jake. But dammit if it ain't true. Kanye had it right when he said "On that independent shit/Trade it all for a husband and some kids." Sigh. I would. I love my autonomy but I need the company of a man. A good one...perhaps it's just this cold weather that's got me gettin' all sentimental and shizz. Frosty weather will do that to you.

Jake:

Well KB, unlike us gays, you straights have a choice. Sisters on Thursdays is the hot Phily spot. Tim Gunn it and make it work. We talked about this some, but I hate that I love Kanye West. I have never had such a huge flip flop on a person because once I hate you I try to stay committed, but anyone who lays the smack down on 50 cent the way he has deserves my admiration. Know why I love him? First, I hate 50 that much. Second, I love how 50 is all wrapped up on Kanye and Kanye cares more about competing with Justin Timberlake. Loves it! C) 50 is all angry about what transpires on 106 and Park, meanwhile Kanye is on Ellen and the FUCKING EMMYS! Snaps for the kid! Oh, and Kanye has a better album and more album sales. What you gone do now 50? You could take your shirt off, but we have seen that before. You could talk about getting shot up, but we've heard that before. You shoulda picked on Nelly or some such artist. I hate that I love you Kanye! Call me! 5 5 5...

Jumping Off!

Jake! You know I have been ridiculously busy with work and planning two major events in the coming weeks. I have very little time for tomfoolery or fuckery. I can't even find the time to blog! So you know this must be an emergency.

Picture it: tonight, about 45 minutes ago. I'm home, exhausted, and working on yet another deal that needs my attention. As I'm trying to finish up this ish so I can pass out and rest up for my 6am spinning class, do you know a former jump off had the nerve to call me repeatedly - which I ignored - and then sent me a text saying, ''I'm downstairs.''

J, at this point I am so stressed and tired, Nigel could have sent that text and I woulda hesitated before answering the door. But jump-off? Are you kidding me?

So I've come up with a few commandments Jump-Offs should follow:

1. Do NOT pop-in. Our meetings must always be pre-determined and scheduled. You are not a pleasant surprise by any means.

2. If you call me and I don't answer that means I am busy, away from my phone, or I DON'T want to talk to you. Calling back repeatedly is just a waste of your time, and more importantly, mine.

3. Do NOT ever, never, bring up the following topics: ''Settling down", children, marriage, you get the idea.

4. DON'T get it twisted. You are and will only be a jump-off, a plan B. Sorry, but that's your role in this life. Be happy you were even invited to the party.

Jake Goes BNT All on Your Ass

And that's Bridge-N-Tunnel for alls you non New Yorkers out there. I am dating someone who lives in Queens...yikes! Jamaica, Queens mightr as well be Jamaica the island because it's too far. I mean, I consider the East Village a long distance relationship.

But this BNT relationship is different because it involves a car. Only in Manhattan will you find a car annoying, but damn if the thing ain't. I mean no one has the time to drive around looking for a parking spot. Yesterday, I had to pee and here we are driving around lookin g for a spot. I am like just drop me off at the door. Sure, you saved me 7 bucks in cab fare, but sheesh. Who has the time to drive around or the energy to walk from whereever you end up parking. Certainly, not me.

But I feel guilty about it. I mean who complains about being picked up and driven around and dropped off...for free. I have some damn nerve, but dayum!

A Thin Line!

Love

Jake: I love that it is now football season! It's the only thing that makes the winter bearable. It's easier to get through the week when you canlook forward to a full weekend of fun between NCAAF and the NFL. Yum. I know how, butch of me. It's okay because I cap the weekend off with Desperate Housewives, which is coming soon too!!!

KelleBelle: I suppose I'm a fan of football season...But only because it gets you gents all riled up! Yum. I love that it is new a TV season! I cannot wait to watch the new season of Curb your Enthusiasm and Mary Kate's stint on Weeds. Yay TV!

Hate

KB: Seasons. I'm a Southern California girl so I can't help that I am allergic to cold weather. I can tolerate it, and I love fall fashion. But really, I am dreading the coming cold weather. Mostly because people in Philly tend to stay in the house when the weather turns...which is okay if you've got a yummy man-bear to warm you up. So yeah, I'm not looking forward to Winter! :(

Jake: Women. Well, I am scared of them. Why can't straight women immediately tell/accept that I am gay, and why are the lesbians so ugly? Straight women scare me like gay men scare straight men. Honestly, some of them intrigue me and I don't know what to do. It's like thinking about sex in a church, with the pastor...and his wife. And using holy water as lube. It just doesn't feel right, but you can't stop thinking about it! Don't judge me!

KB: Jake...wtf?! Holy water as lube? Lord have mercy (on Jake's soul)!

Hate to Love

Jake: I hate that I love feigns.There is just nothing funnier that watching feigns act like feigns.It's the best entertainment. Apparently, I can only be entertainedwhen someone in the room is high. I think that's why I am most entertained when at home alone. Watching intervention and Being BobbyBrown whilst listening to Amy Winehouse.

KB: I hate that I love to watch those silly "Fabulous Life" shows on VH1. They only make me feel bad about my relative level of poverty compared to those featured and leave me feeling envious and bitter. But I can't help watching! The best was the Rags to Riches edition because at least those billionaires "deserved" their 100million dollar yachts and solid gold toilets. I'm still bitter.

Stupid VMAs

So, I was planning on commenting on the VMAs today, but they were so bad I couldn't watch. I was going to comment on the style choices, but they were so bad I couldn't bring myself to download and upload the photos. Okay, so I watched a lilk bit and downloaded a few pics.

When confused, you should ask questions. Here are my 21 questions:

1. Has Britney herself thrown in the towel? 2. Was this the VMAs or high school musical? 3. Why are all of the "surprises" so predictable? 4. Could Chris Brown be a better entertainer than Usher or JT? 5. Is Farnsworth Bently the male Superhead? 6. Did Kanye & 50 cook up this "feud" while in bed together? 7. Justin & Timbaland, who's the bottom? 8. Was the whole show a big Kanye & 50 promotion, sponsored by Gucci and vitamin water? 9. Aren't Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Luadris and TI hot? 10. What was Jamie Foxx smoking, and do you think Jennifer Garner will ever get that close to him again? 11. Tommy Lee & Kid Rock...who you got? 12. Haven't these awards show been on a steady decline since the whole Janet thing?

13. What the hell is up with Lil Mamma, she scares me a lil bit? 14. Isn't it interesting to see the celebs when they are not photoshoped? 15. Because didn't Jennifer Hudson look much bigger than previous photo shoots would lead us to believe? 16. How many STDs do you think were transmitted last night? 17. Aren't the BET awards better now? 18. Why didn't anyone thank God? Was it banned? 19. Isn't Beyonce one of the dumbest chicks you've ever heard talk? 20. Will there even be a 2008 VMAs, what's the point? 21. Wasn't the show in Vegas? Why was Chris brown wearing a hoodie and why was Akons black ass wearing a v-neck with a button down underneath and jacket over top?

Baby, Baby, Baby...

So Halle Berry is preggers. I want to be excited as she is beautiful and from what I understand really wanted a kid. However, what is with all these non-marital children. This is like the in vogue thing to do in Hollywood and in life and it ain’t cool.

I believe the song went…first come loves, then comes marriage, THEN MAYBE PERHAPS A BABY CARRIAGE. It certainly didn’t say first comes baby carriage, then MAYBE PERHAPS MARRIAGE. I simply do not understand how you would have a baby with someone that you wouldn’t be willing to marry.

It seems to me that people should have the highest of standards for he who she plans to have a child with. If you are cute, we can make out. If you are hot, we can have sex. If I love you, we can do it anytime, anyplace. If I am in love with you, we can get married. If I am in love with you and I cannot possibly ever in life see myself living without you and I am convinced that you feel the same way and I am convinced you would be a good parent, we can have a kid. Under no circumstances is anybody around here having a kid with someone without being committed to him/her forever and ever amen.

Two things I hate to hear: (1) I really want a kid and (2) I can take care of a kid by myself. First, it’s not about you, it’s about the kid and kids should have at least 2 parents. Second, it’s not about what you can do, but what you should do. What you should do is strap up until you are married.

Speaking of Phoning a Friend

you gots to be careful which friend you phone and when. I learned that recently, particularly when dealing with dating and relationship issues. Why? Single bitches is bitter. Could that be why they are single? Perhaps.

I am the type of person that reacts very quickly to situations and my initial reaction is probably not the one I want to go with. In addition to reacting quickly, I react strongly and sometimes unreasonably. So, with this is mind I like to mull things over and consult friends. I always want to make sure that I am being rational and have considered the other persons POV. I tell my friends what's up, tell them what I am thinking, and end with...I mean am I crazy?

The problem is that my friends looove to get me all riled up. Sometimes, I feel like I am in a boxing match and my friends get me a corner and get me excited and then send me out to fight. Rather, that's what my single friends do. I am convinced that they don't even listen to me. They give the same stock speeches that almost certainly will keep my ass just as single and bitter as they are. Love yall, don't hate me.

I recently had to cut all friends off and stop talking to them about an issue that came up with a guy I have been dating. But one friend managed to get me talking about it and also managed to give me super reasonable advice. This is only the second time I have gotten reasonable advice in a long time. The one thing that she had in common with the last person? They are both married.

Coincidence? I don't think so. I think there is a reason why some people are perpetually single. I think dealing with other people in the context of relationships requires a certain amount of nuance and some people just don't take the time. I myslef am stuck somewhere in the middle. I am smart enough to know that I can't always be right even when I am not smart enough to know why. I am certainly smart enough to know when my friends are trying to sabotage me.

Now, if only I can get this guy to consult a married woman on occasion and stop acting crazy. I saw on Discovery where these two tribes were at war and the only way to stop it was to offer a goat for peace, so I offered him one of my nannies to advise him. He was getting some F'd up advice from his boys. How a gay man can live without one or more nannies is beyond me! Anyways, he rejected my nanny offering. How rude! I have two getting married in the fall. Surely, one of them can help him.

Message to my nannies: I use the goat as a metaphor, no wait, as a educational tool. Although, you wouldn't be upset if you knew how important those goats are to those tribes.

Who wants to be a phone-a-friend of a Millionaire?

I do, and I might be. I have a friend who is going to be on the show Who wants to be a Millionaire. And, guess who she asked to be a phone a friend? That’s right little ole me! Silly ole Jake. Who’d a thunk it! I mean, I don’t even trust me to answer a question about anything and here she is trying to call me.

The chances she calls me is unlikely. I have a very special knowledge base. I can only help out with sports and pop culture. That’s it. If the answer can be gotten from Entertainment Tonight or Sportcenter I can help. Other than that, call someone else. She is not to call me if the answer comes from a book because I have not read it (except for Nicole Richie’s Truth About Diamonds, and I haven’t even finished that- it’s been 3 years).

Meanwhile, she has inspired me to go on a game show myself. I just can’t think of one I can actually win. I asked a friend for guidance and she said one based on luck. Bitch. I’ve given this some thought and decided that indeed there is no game show that I would have a reasonable shot at winning. I suck. I mean back in the day I coulda won double dare, but those days have passed.

I did figure out which reality show I could win. It can’t be one where people have to like you or vote for you so Big Brother is out. I am not an outdoors person so Survivor is out. I prefer picking over being picked so Next is out. Plus size models never win so ANTM is out. I would cuss Diddy out, am tone def, and can't follow dance instructions so I ain’t Making the Band.

The only show I could win is the Apprentice, but I am not sure if it even comes on TV anymore. I mean that show is simple and the people who win it are even simpler. I would just stay out of trouble for a few weeks and then mid way through become project manager and win and then live on that until the very end, all the while sabotaging everyone else. Brilliant. Sign me up.

Let’s all go on a show!

Jake Gets Bored...

It's true. I am bored out of my brains. It seems I am at a unique point in my life where I am not working towards anything. I have my degree, I have reached every short term goal I have set for myself, and now I have nothing to do but work and live. I am not in a state of crisis because I have a great job and a great life. But, luckily for me I picked a profession that just works for me. It just comes easy for me and so I do it. It's not particularly challenging and certainly not interesting. But as long as it's easy I am going to do it...

But, that leaves me with nothing to do. I need a new short term goal that doesn't involve any major life changes. I need something challenging. I usually only do things I am good at, and fortunately for me, I have discovered what I am good at so I don't have to do anything I am bad at. And, when you spend time being good at what you are good at, you can pay someone to do what you are bad at. That's my life's philosophy. Well actually I think that's the basis of western capitalism, but who cares who came up with it first.

Anyways, I think I have my solution. My next short term goal in life is to become a good cook. Cooking is my worse nightmare! It requires paying attention and following directions, and I can do neither effectively. I have tried to cook in the past and screwed up because I just do what I think should be done even if the directions say otherwise, assuming I have read them. Even when I am doing it right, there is a good chance I will forget what is going on and overcook or freak out and undercook. I definitely have not set a timer. I also have no interest in food. I don't know the many kinds, and I don't know what works together. I have been known to just make a casserole with pasta, meat, and a veggie just because I thought I needed meat and veggies in my life. I am awful, awful, awful!!

So, I am taking cooking classes at the new school. I am starting with a one day beginners workshop, and then I will move on to more complicated courses. I may even complete a whole certificate program. The goal is to host a full dinner party by next spring where I make a full several course meal that is complicated and delicious! Then I will step my wine game up!
That's right...I am changing, trying every way I can. I am changing, I'll be better than I am!
Wish me luck!